Hypothetically

1 month before birth:

May and Brenda sat in the front parlor of May's house, drinking tea. Maternity clothes stretched over their growing bodies. They were due for about the same time the next month, and were in the process of planning their future children's lives.

"My son," Brenda said proudly, "will be trained to take the same job as I have." May raised an eyebrow.

"Indeed. Good work on the Santorum job, by the way," she said, indicating the headline of a newspaper announcing the assassination of the politician. Brenda smiled widely.

"I know, right?" She took a moment to reflect on the particular pleasure she had taken in that job. May snorted.

"My sister claims that our children will inevitably end up together in some way due to our combined insanity."

Both were silent for moment before simultaneously raising their glasses and yelling "Destiny!" before clinking them together.

1 hour after birth:

"Oh my god. Oh my god. I'm an aunt," Kristine hyperventilated, for some reason very excited about her new title. May, her sister, looked on in amusement as she held her newborn son, Marek. Brenda, on the next bed over, held her own son, Lucien, who had been born minutes after her friend's.

"You'd better be the frickin' godparent, Kristine, 'cause I don't want to bother with looking for another one," Brenda complained.

"Okay!" Kristine exclaimed, already liking the Asian looking child her friend held. Well, what happens at the Renaissance Festival…

"Brenda, does your…job give you maternity leave?" Brenda smiled evilly.

"I know where they live. They give me all the time I want." May and Kristine shivered.

"Remind me to never piss her off," May muttered.

5 years old:

May waited for Brenda to show up at the park, Marek already playing in the sandbox. Kristine was with her, wanting to visit with her twin and her friend, and to see how her nephew and godson were doing. They hadn't seen Brenda in a while, due to the number of "jobs" that came up.

They saw her familiar coming and smiled in welcome. Brenda sent Lucien to the sandbox with Marek. Lucien obeyed as his mother and the other two women started a conversation. Marek sized up the boy coming towards him. Skin a bit darker, black hair, slightly slanted dark eyes, and shorter than him, Lucien did not measure up to much in the other's 5 year old eyes. Marek thus went back to making his sand castle. He would have continued to ignore the other boy for the next hour and a half, had Lucien not decided to take matters into his own hands.

He pushed him. Marek looked up in bewilderment at Lucien, who already perfected a smirk. Marek frowned, got up, and pushed him down, laughing as that smirk disappeared. In a flash, Lucien was up, shoving Marek down once again, laughing as well. This proceeded into a ten minute shoving match in the sandbox, maniacal laughter reaching the three women on the park bench. All three smiled indulgently.

"Make sure to give large donations to whatever school they go to, so it's not as easy to kick them out for violence," Kristine advised.

"Or mention your profession," May added to Brenda. Kristine nodded as Brenda scowled at them.

8 years old:

Marek had made a girl cry. Again. Lucien couldn't figure out why he couldn't just ignore people like he did. But then Lucien didn't really care about other people. Some doctor had said he was as close to being sociopathic as one could get without actually being sociopathic. Whatever that meant. Hey, he was only in the third grade.

Anyway, Marek was stupid in his opinion. He was mean to anyone that annoyed him. Which was most everyone. He didn't go to people trying to be mean. It just sorta…happens. Lucien was a loner, wore dark and unobtrusive clothing, and ignored anyone who tried to talk to him. Well, almost everyone. Marek was tolerable. And unavoidable. And stupid, for getting caught. Though Lucien had to admire the insult, which had been quite clever in his opinion. But in a place where the teacher could hear…? Not thinking ahead.

After school, Lucien waited for Marek as the teacher yelled at him. Again. Marek finally came out, looking bored.

"Sorry Lucien. Mine or yours?"

"Mine," Lucien said. Every day after school, they would go to either one of their houses, depending on who was home, and who had cookies. Brenda and May lived next door to each other, and often times, one of the boys would scale the wall to visit their "aunt". Kristine was also a frequent guest, to say hello and to give gifts. Lucien only tolerated Marek, Kristine, May and his mother. No one else deserved his attention.

13 years old:

Eighth grade sucked, in Marek's opinion. All the idiots acted superior, apparently not realizing that they'd be at the bottom of the heap again next year. But, it was the weekend, which he rather liked. One of the reasons being that he could see Lucien more. He was the only reason he got through school reasonably sane and non-homicidal. So. Many Annoying. People! Really, it was ridiculous.

But, he remembered, one of Brenda's friends was coming over for a visit. The one with all the swords, if he remembered correctly. The one named Melissa. In fact, he heard the old car she drove, a '67 Impala, come up the drive at that moment. Marek wandered into the front room, knowing his mother would want to go as well. Krisitne was down for the weekend, and was already waiting in the doorway.

"Marek," she said on seeing him. "Melissa has brought her daughter along with her, so please try not to make her cry or to be too mean." He sighed. He wasn't mean, per se, he just said what he thought. Lucien said his brain to mouth filter was broken. Meh. Whatever. Not his problem. Well, technically, it was, but not one he cared about. So he just shrugged. May came out then, and the three of them went next door. Brenda opened the door at their knock.

"Come in," she said, ushering them forward. Melissa rushed them, hugging all three of them. Marek who included Melissa in the category of "not too annoying" allowed it for a moment before he pulled away. By the unspoken rule of life, the three younger people moved away from the chatting adults. Lucien and Marek looked at the girl in front of them. About a year older than them, Kayla was not all that concerned with the intensity of their stares.

"Are you guys friends?" she asked abruptly.

"Yep," Marek said, at the same time Lucien said, "I don't have friends." Both seemed satisfied with the other's answer. Kayla was silent for a moment.

"Can I be your friend?" she asked. Marek shrugged.

"Not my concern what you call yourself, so long as you don't annoy me or Lucien."

"I won't kill you," was what Lucien said. Marek snorted.

"Your mother said you can't kill anyone until you are government sanctioned, anyway." Lucien scowled.

"Jerk."

Kayla was seriously reconsidering her request for friendship.

17 years old:

Marek and Lucien were now seniors in high school. Lucien still tolerated no one in school other than Marek, who only branched out a little, having a few acquaintances who didn't really mind that he was a complete asshole. Both had girls chasing after them from all years. All had been rejected by both, neither being interested, and causing all but the hardest to run away in tears. Lucien didn't really care, but Marek was curious as to why it kept happening. So he went to his Aunt Kristine. Some things you just don't feel comfortable asking your mother.

"Aunt Kristine, why do girls even ask me out?" Kristine gave him an odd look.

"Well, for one thing, you grew up quite well, in the looks department, at least," she said. "They also most probably have feelings for you."

"Feelings?"

"Yes, you know, attraction, fluttery feeling in the stomach, fondness, inexplicable nervousness…" she trailed off, not really sure how to describe it. Marek considered this.

"And you say if I have these feelings, it is most likely because I like someone?" he asked.

"Yeps!"

"Hmm…That's slightly unexpected." Marek said.

"What, do you think you like someone?" Marek nodded. "Someone I know…?" she prodded. Marek snorted, thinking that now that it was clear to him, it should be clear to everyone else as well.

"Well, yeah, you've known him forever."

"Known him for…Oh my god, you're in love with Lucien!" She pulled out her phone dialing May, who was out shopping. "May? It's Kristine. You owe me fifty bucks!" She hung up on the stream of curses with a smirk. "So, you gonna tell him?" she asked. Marek shook his head.

"I don't want to scare him off or anything. I'm fine with going on with how things have been. I already monopolize him as it is." Kristine shrugged, seeing the truth in his words.

"So long as you can be happy with that," she said.

Marek, while he was always blunt to the point of rudeness, was always honest. So when he rejected the girls that asked him out, he now told them that it was because he already liked someone else. Now, this caused quite a stir in school. Marek and Lucien, easily the two best looking guys in school, had always been known for their indifference towards, well, everyone. So it wasn't long until Lucien heard of this addition to his…friend's…rejections. And when he heard that he felt…odd. Unpleasant. Like anger, but…different. So he went to Kristine. He felt too embarrassed to talk about anything like feelings to his own mother. Kristine was surprised when he asked to talk, but readily complied. She listened in silence as he told her about the unpleasant feeling.

"Do you know what caused it?" she asked. Lucien gave a slight nod, frown marring his usually emotionless face.

"When I heard that Marek liked someone." Kristine's eye twitched.

"Indeed. Do you know who he likes?" Lucien shook his head. "Hmm…If I had to guess, I'd say you are jealous." Lucien frowned further.

"Jealous? But why?"

"Well, do you feel that way because his attention is being taken by someone else?" Lucien shook his head.

"Things are exactly as they have always been, and I didn't feel that way when Marek hangs out with his other friends." Kristine nodded, then proceeded with caution.

"Could it be that you wished he had those feelings for you…?" she asked cautiously. Lucien froze completely. Kristine eyed him warily, waiting for some sort of reply.

"That would be…problematic," he said quietly. Kristine nodded sympathetically, taking this as the affirmation that she was correct.

"Yes, but you can't help it if you fall in love." Lucien nodded slowly, still sifting through the unusual feeling of experiencing emotions. Kristine, guessing as much, gave him a cookie and sent him home. Then she called Brenda.

"You owe me a hundred bucks."

Second semester:

With both still as clueless as ever, the second semester of their last year in high school started the descent of the senior's attention spans. Everyone just wanted to get high school over with. If Lucien became a bit quieter, no one but Marek noticed, and he just thought it was another brooding phase the other boy occasionally got into. They were together as much as ever, though now trying to hide feelings that, once discovered, began to grow.

They were still asked out often (especially during the un-godly time of prom), only now, the other hid the resentment of jealousy. It was only inevitable that something would have to happen to get this cat out of the bag, and sooner rather than later.

Marek had, again, rejected a girl with the whole class watching. Instead of running away in tears and/or shame like many of the others, this girl got mad.

"If you keep on like this, even the person you like is going to hate you," she snarled (as a cheerleader, she had many times to perfect said snarl). "You're only ever nice to him!" Here she pointed at where Lucien sat in the desk next to him. "People are going to start to assume that you like him as more than a friend if this keeps up." Marek shrugged.

"They wouldn't be wrong," he said casually. "Not that it's any of your business." A general silence fell over the room at his words.

"What?" Lucien asked dangerously. Marek winced at his tone.

"You heard me," he said. He dodged the book thrown at him.

"You could have said something earlier, you idiot," Lucien seethed. Marek, knowing his friend-though now something more-grinned.

"Well, now that we have that out of the way…" Lucien sniffed.

"You're telling our mothers. And Kristine." The cheerleader, forgotten along with the rest of class until that moment, huffed and flounced from the room, no doubt to spread the word. There was another short silence.

"And strangely, it makes sense," an anonymous voice said from the back of the room. The slight tension dissipated as a few people laughed at that. And so, life went on.

After:

After high school, things were about the same. Lucien successfully trained to be an assassin, and Marek went on to be the cut-throat president of a company, and remaining a general asshole to everyone except Lucien. Lucien also…helped…quite a bit to keep the competition down. May and Brenda, of course, supported them fully. Kristine visited often as well, saying how she wished they would adopt, but would fear for the how the child would grow up with people whose attitudes didn't quite equal loving parents. And the three women raised their glasses to destiny and unconventional happiness.

A/N: First, I have nothing against cheerleaders; I just couldn't resist the jibe. Also, this is a fun story with aliases used of my friend, sister, and myself. And another friend with her cameo appearance (hi!). When this was thought up, there were enormous amounts of caffeine and chocolate consumed, so randomness ensued. Also, kudos if you got the Supernatural and Amusing Reviews (fanfiction stories) references. Thanks for reading!