and it's funny because
i used to think
that smiles could fix
everything,
make the
conversations less awkward -
loosen the tight knot in my chest
and relax the tense shadow of your
jaw as you turned away from me,
maybe for the last time. but now
i'm learning that
smiles - as beautiful and broken as they are -
can't fix everything
and
sometimes apologies aren't worth the
waste of time they cause and
darling it's just
really very easy to ignore the
feelings i'm ashamed to feed into,
pretend the ache isn't there at all
(and we both know i'm very good at such
things like that,
pretending.)