an. i know the formatting is more overdone than i generally like or use. but this one's really kind of personal. i mean, a lot of my stuff is vaguely personal. but this one is... really personal. and so i just put it where it felt right, even if it doesn't look or sound as good as it could. so, yeah. formatting = weird.


& today, i think only of
that night, and the others like it
when i didn't want to ("didn't").
(always you.) the empty,
animalistic glare on your - face.
sweat/salt/skin. how you
wanted to cuddle afterwards, and
i wanted to .throw. up. forget
about love, that was intentional blindness,
hatred, of the ruins-your-life variety.

i can't believe i let this happen,
or maybe encouraged it ("deserved it").
(asked for it.) i

. must . have . asked . f o r . i t .