Did you ever really notice?

Could you ever really see the tears behind the smiles?

The sobs behind the laughter,

The loneliness in the echo,

And the darkness that comes with every blink.

I've struggled to breathe these last years,

And now I feel like I'm drowning.

The darkness has been coming after me for a while,

And it catches me within my nightmares.

I can't seem to find the light switch in this darkness.

I feel as if I have failed you in some way.

And through my encasing fear of rejection,

I have neglected to send you my distress call;

Because I can't cope anymore,

Yet it has taken me what has felt years to admit that.

I have monsters in my closet,

And I need help to get rid of them.

To be blunt, I am tired of wearing yesterday's scars.

It's nothing you did; it's just the way I feel.

I just need you to hold my hand,

Because it's scary to tell you how I feel,

But it's even scarier to face help without you.