My life had always revolved around one thing; survival.
Ever since I was a girl I was forced to venture out on my own, trying to find for myself. I would search the dumpsters and beg the people passing by for a few cents.
Sometimes they would throw me change, but most of the time they would walk right past as if I didn't even exist, not even giving me the honor of getting looked at.
I was a pest to everyone who tried to befriend me. I would say mean things, threaten and even chase them down the block to keep them away from me. I was so scared to form a relationship with someone because I didn't want them to walk out on me.
When I was old enough, I look for jobs. Everyone turned me down and I was back on the streets to beg, praying to anyone watching over to help me get through the next week.
Eventually I started to steal things such as food, clothing, and shoes. Yet, I never took more than I needed; I didn't want anyone to have as little as I did.
I was a mouse in a rat's home, never belonging. Never wanted.
I thought about death a lot, weather if it was worth the attempt, or to leave it up to time and fate. I decided to leave it to fate and whatever higher power there is.
After a few years I finally managed to land a job as a janitor for the middle school. I was eighteen at the time and a lot of the boys would whistle and stare at me as I walked by them.
I often used the girl's locker room to take showers and I saved as much as I could, but food wasn't cheap.
Three years later I was promoted to the high school and I was able to start actually saving. The boys were worse than the younger ones by far, way more impulsive than the middle school's students. A lot of them tried to jump me in the janitor's closet or bump into me in the halls.
By the time I left the school I was 25 years old. I started to work at Subway and eventually moved into a small apartment. The owner was nice and supplied me with a bed and a couch.
For the next few months I was happier than I ever was before. I moved up the corporate line, getting bigger and better job offerings.
A year later after my most recent promotion, I was fired and forced to move out of my apartment. For two more years I lived on the streets, bouncing from one bad job to the other.
That is until I got an anonymous phone call at my current job, a waitress at Border Grill.
Now, I'm in a green, flowered, knee-length dress that you bought, standing in your yellow living room, confused. All because you didn't have the guts to keep me when I was a child. All because you were too scared to be called a name.
A simple, stupid name.