The following story is my debut story which I wrote four years back (for which it is special to me). I've left everything as it is. No changes. Reviews and criticism appreciated.
The Walk Through the Park
I checked myself in front of the mirror for one last time. Everything was perfect. I opened the door and a cool breeze hit me. It was a wonderful day. The sun was shining brightly and there were people all around; some walking and some chatting. I locked the door behind me and departed. I cupped my hands and breathed into it; and almost fainted. My breath smelt horrible. I popped a mint in my mouth as I walked along the pavement. Her house was only a few blocks away and in less than fifteen minutes, I reached her house.
I climbed along the steps and rang the doorbell which went with a ting tong. Mrs. Lisa, the housemaid opened the door.
"Peter my boy! Here for Susie?" she asked me in.
"Ah, y––yes," I replied nervously.
"I knew it! Wait here, I shall call her," she said. Then she turned around and disappeared inside. I could hear her shouting, "Susie? SOOOZEEE? He's here my dear girl."
After a few moments, I could hear a clatter of footsteps. And then suddenly, there, in front of me stood Susie, dressed in a tight pair of jeans and a pink t-shirt. I could see the look of gladness in her eyes as she saw me.
"Oh... Peter," she said and hugged me. "I'm so glad you're here. I've been waiting for you. I can't wait to get out."
"Well where do you want to go?" I asked.
"A walk in the park would be nice," she replied.
I smiled. "C'mon!" I said. Quickly putting on a pair of shoes, she climbed down the steps. Hand in hand, we walked down the lane. Then in five minutes we were walking in the park admiring the beautiful scenes that lay ahead of us.
Here and there, there were other couples walking around. There were even old couples that were walking around. One old couple, whose age I judged was about 60 were walking together their arm around each-other. They stopped beside the small pond that was in the middle of the park and sat down. The old man still had his arm around the old woman. They began talking and the old woman was laughing with the spirit of twenty-five years old. They looked happy and cheerful. Theirs was a classic romance.
I sighed. Susie looked at me
"Is there something wrong?" she asked.
"What? Oh, no there isn't," I replied and continued, "It's just that…well, this is the first time I'm on a date and…..I––I just can't express how happy I am and hope that you are happy too."
"I'm happy too," she said.
I nodded. I had met her in high-school. We had gradually become friends and eventually best-friends. At first, I used to be so shy that I couldn't even look at her face straight but now I was used to having her around me. Now here I was, on my first date with her. It was her first date as well and I was determined to make it a memorable one. Then Susie looked at me. She had a beautiful face with brownish black hair and hazel eyes.
"Remember that day when you almost blew up the chemistry lab?" Susie asked me.
At that question I turned red for that was the most embarrassing day of my life.
"Yes," I replied and continued, "Good thing that Antei was there in time to prevent it from happening."
"The whole lab was covered in thick white smoke," Susie added, grinning.
"We had to open all the doors and windows and turn on the fan as well to clear the room and still, it took about half an hour to do it," I added myself with a chuckle.
"That was some accident," Susie said and laughed aloud. She looked even more pretty when she was laughing. Her voice was sweet like sugar.
"Well, that wasn't actually my fault. Only if Arney hadn't––––––"
"'If Arney hadn't put the wrong acid in the beaker'," she said mimicking me and went on, "You told me that the next day."
"I did?" I asked a little unsure. I wondered if that question made me look a little stupid.
"You're such a nerd," she whispered, fiddling with my hair, smiling. Then she suddenly kissed me on the cheek. I was taken aback a little but pleased at the same time.
"Do you love me?" she asked me in a whisper.
"Yes I do," I whispered back.
"I love you too," she said and placed her head on my shoulder while I put my hand around hers.
We walked silently for some time. We had almost reached the end of the park and I could see the gate. It was late now and the park was almost empty. Near the gate, there stood a man selling popsicles.
"Want a popsicle?" I asked.
"You haven't changed a bit even after finishing high school have you?" she said and chuckled. "Okay … unless you're having one."
By now, we had almost reached the gate. The sun was slowly setting behind the hills and the sky was deep orange.
"Wait here," I said and hurried over to the popsicle man. After a few moments, I returned with two heart-shaped popsicles in my hand. I handed one to Susie and started licking the other one myself. The popsicle was deep purple in colour and I could immediately see Susie's face brighten as she had a lick.
"It is blueberry flavored, you're favorite," I said as we walked up the lane. Now it was almost dark and I could already see several stars in the sky. We walked together, enjoying the popsicle, enjoying the date and enjoying ourselves. After a few minutes, we reached Susie's house.
"This is the best day of my life," she whispered in my ear. Then she quickly made her way up the stairs. But she did not ring the doorbell. Instead, she turned around, ran down the step and hugged me. I could hear her sigh softly. She looked at me with her beautiful eyes. Then she kissed me on my lips and made her way up the stairs again.
"Goodnight!" she said waving her hand at me.
"Goodnight!" I greeted back and stood there watching her until she disappeared behind the door. Then turning back, I made my way back home, my heart leaping with joy.