relapse.

such a solid word. and until you're back in
it pushes you away; hides your knife
and steals your drug of choice. until you're back in
you find safety in numbers, in the monotonous
daily actions that leave your mind numb.

but when it embraces you, the loss of self
is a cheap payment for relief. it's something
you're willing to give up as long as you can
soar higher than you ever remember being;
as long as it promises a lengthy escape.