Today I was forced to eat.
But anorexia, I can easily beat.
I went to my bathroom and did something bad.
I threw up everything I had had.
After I ate, I felt so sick.
But throwing up did the trick.
So, add bulimia to the list.
If I eat, I'll throw it up. I insist.
So, force me to eat. If only you knew.
If only you knew what I was about to do.
I'll make myself skinny, because I'm too fat.
Soon my stomach will be flat.
Making me eat is really a waste.
All I want is to have a small waist.
Maybe then I'll fit in with the crowd,
and mommy and daddy will finally be proud.
A pretty daughter is all they want me to be,
but all I want is to be me.
It's their fault that I inflict self harm,
their fault that I cut my arm.
So many problems, and now bulimia's added to it.
I think suicide is something I shall commit.
After all, skinniness doesn't happen over night,
and what I'm doing to myself isn't right.
Death will make me better, make me okay.
AND, it will make me skinny, someday.
So make me eat, but it's no good.
If I could keep it down, maybe I would.
But my body rejects the food, and I think that's fine.
I'll be skinny over time.
That way no one can make fun of me, or call me names.
I won't get thrown into those stupid games.
I'll be just like everyone else, I'll be pretty.
You won't have to look at me with pity.
I'll be skinny, I'll fit in.
This is sad. I'm letting anorexia and bulimia win.
But that's fine, I'll just try not to eat.
Bulimia and anorexia are easy to beat.
So force me to eat, make me fat,
but there's really no point in that.
I have bulimia, yes, it's true.
It all started because of you.
You called me fat, you called me names,
you threw me into these horrible games.