Something I wrote when I was very depressed and managed to get my creativity going at the same time. This was what I felt at the time, but now my life is amazing and I'm so glad I never gave up. For everyone else out there feeling like me, never give in, or you'll miss all the happiness you'd have experienced in your life otherwise.
I hate you! Why can't you just die?" My voice cracked as I screamed at her. Tears streamed down the girl's face, adding to her ugliness. "Stop it, you look so stupid! What is there to cry about?" I choked up again as I yelled at her again. My words echoed back at us in the empty house. She continued to cry, her eyes red and puffy, her cheeks fat and an unhealthy pink shade. I hated her. I hated her with everything I had.
"I want you to die! Why can't you even do that right? I told you to die!" We stood under the bright lights of the bathroom, both of us crying, although for very different reasons. I was angry and full of hatred, but the salty drops also held shame and dying dreams. I wanted so much from life, but this girl was the only thing that could stop me. I already told her to die, but she just wouldn't. There were scars on her wrists. She had tried to do as I said, but she was too weak to just do a simple thing right. That was why she also had bandages on her wrists.
She kept crying as I stared at her, her stupid tears, her ugly face. "Why can't you do anything right?" My voice was quiet, broken. My anger had faded to a semi-calm anguish. "Why can't you just make it easy for everyone? No one needs you." The tears kept coming. I opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out a razor, a bottle of pills, and a thick cord of wire. I tried to force them into her hands. She didn't take them. I screamed again, my despairing anger having returned. "Just take them! Do anything you want, but just die! I hate you! Everyone hates you! Just get it over with!" She still didn't take them and both our tears were renewed as we sobbed together, my depression and her weakness.
A pitiful whisper, "Why can't you just die?" My voice was shattered, a reflection of everything I felt. This girl, she was broken. Broken, just like me. No one wanted her, and I knew everyone would be better off without her. I again tried to force the makeshift suicide objects into her hands. She couldn't hold them and I sank to my knees. Sobs and choking noises rose from my chest. "Just die..."
I forced myself to stand. I grabbed the ravor, determined to kill her myself if she wouldn't do it. She remained silent, as always. Failing again at making her take the weapon, I threw it at her face. The blade of the object caught the light and shone slightly as it flew through the air. Then there was a cracking sound and the shatter of glass as the mirror broke.