"The cat sat on the mat is not a story. The cat sat on the other cat's mat is a story." – John le Carré

Challenge accepted.

(Contains spoilers for The Birth of Something New)

Oh, come on, Tim, come on. I was gone for five FREAKING minutes and now, already, you're occupying my mat? Just because I was leaving it to eat some food? I was hungry, you know.

Meow. Oh yes, you're complaining. I'm too fat, and I've been lying there for too long. But you know, it's MY mat. It's got MY name on it. It was knitted on it. Lisa. L-i-s-a. That's what Cindy always tells me anyway. Her grandmother knitted it on the mat for me. So get off. You have your own mat. Why won't you lie on that one? Oh, if only Cindy or Marisa had been here, they'd throw you off immediately. Then again, Marisa doesn't come over often. Cindy comes over at Marisa's more often. And I haven't seen Cindy a lot lately either, probably because she visits Marisa's place a lot. Pity, she's my favorite. I don't like her parents as much.

Anyway. Meow. You're just acting like a kitten of three months, so I just thought I'd sit in front of you and stare at you until you get off my mat. I don't purrticularly feel like hitting you today, so I just decided to do this instead.

Meow. You've got a stupid name anyway, Tim. It's a boy's name, and you're a female. How stupid can that be? Sure, the previous owner simply assumed you were male and never checked. It was only when you were bought from him that you were brought to the vet and it was found out that you were a woman. Haha, a woman named Tim. I still laugh at your name. Still, your previous owner was stupid enough to neglect you. Purr.

Meow. Still not moving? Okay. I guess I'll just wash myself. If I 'accidentally' put my paw in your eye, trust me, I'm not sorry at all.

Meow. What are you up to, anyway? You've only been here for three years. You're only five years old. I, on the other hand, am seven, and therefore superior, and I've been here since my kitten-hood. I can boss over you, so get off my mat. If my wagging tail hasn't alarmed you yet, the paw with claws that's about to hit you will. So get. Off.

Hiss. What, you're not listening to me? I guess I'll just have to continue washing myself. But I will hit you soon.

Meow. I know, I've been too kind for you, because I don't hit you. I'm always too kind. I'm even too kind to Cindy. I allow everything she does to me. She can lift me up the ground – even upside down if she wants – and I don't mind. Okay, actually I do, but I don't resist. Girl has gone through enough troubles and I can understand she needs a cat to play with sometimes. Seeing as she doesn't have any siblings and her parents are often gone for their work, I'm her companion. Well okay, me and Marisa. Purr.

Meow. But I haven't seen Cindy often. She's not often home, but when she is, she locks herself up in her room and I hear sobbing coming from it. I want to cheer her up then, but her door is locked firmly and she won't let me in, even if I swipe my front paws against the door. I wonder what is wrong with that girl.

Hiss. Still not moving, Tim? Dammit. Okay, I am preparing the slap you will feel soon. Just give me a few seconds to wash my paw.

Meow. It's been three years since you came here and things were a lot easier before you came here, didn't you know, Tim? It was just me, Cindy, and her parents. But now, you're always competing for Cindy's attention with me, and she just can't seem to choose. I'd rather have you gone, Tim, so my mat will no longer be occupied. Get off.

Hiss. Okay, you asked for it. Here's the slap I've been preparing for the past few seconds.

Hiss. Finally, you're getting off. I have my mat back! Thanks for keeping it warm. Now, I only have to…

Meow. Oh, you didn't get off because of me, I see. Cindy came downstairs. Oh, wait, you know what? My mat's not important right now. Cindy's sad, and that needs to be fixed. Oh, you wanted to fix it too? Well then, okay, I'll tolerate you getting Cindy's attention this time. I'll just jump from my mat and walk around her legs, just like you did. I don't like you, but if Cindy's sad, all means are allowed.

Purr. Ah, there I feel it again. She's lifting me and putting me on her shoulder. And now, she's carrying me around the room. Meow. She's talking to me. I like it when she talks to me, I like to hear her voice. She's talking about this guy she hates called Eric, and about her best friend Max. I'm usually the one she vents against when Marisa's not there.

Purr. Meow. I like it on her shoulder. It makes me a lot bigger than I actually am. It makes me a lot bigger than you, Tim.

Purr. Meow. Hiss. What? Did she just tell me that… she's in love? Wow, that's a first. For her, anyway. Love's overrated for humans. Why don't they just mate?

Meow. Ah, she's telling me who she's in love with. It must be that Max guy, her good friend. I'm sure of it.


Hold on.

Okay, she threw me off her shoulder because I hurt her with my nails. But come on, I was really startled. I'll just head back to my mat instead, now that you're no longer occupying it, Tim.

But still, that was one huge surprise. You'd be startled too, and considering the way you're staring at Cindy, you are.

But hey, I didn't see this coming.

She's fallen in love with Marisa?

Author's Note: Yeah. Sorry. I saw the quote, and I… I just had to. I regret nothing :') Hope you liked the one-shot, and that it wasn't too boring. I send a lot of thanks to my awesome cousin for Beta-ing this, send him a high-five for me :) If you want to read more, I suggest you look at I Never… and if you want to read more about Cindy & Marisa, read The Birth Of Something New, though I gave away one of the most surprising twists here xD

In the meanwhile, please leave a review! Every review is always returned :)

See you next time^^