Part A-4 : Food is a Virtue
As I ran towards the direction of my home, I managed to pass by the training hall which kept me cooped up in pain due to the overly strict training these demonic coach had given me. I stopped for a moment just before I passed by the couple of middle-aged people in front of me, which was none other than the coach and his wife themselves.
"Err..I'm sorry for going off earlier, I didn't really mean to."
Yeah, I figured that I just have to apologize, and my business would be done thoroughly with them. Also, even if it's hard...I have to tell him that I desire no further training from him as I felt that his ways was too strict, and he didn't strike me as a fellow who would accept compromises...
But what just came after that was just...unexpected.
"You don't have to go in this place anymore, in fact, you can't. Feel free to live your life and train yourself with the way you wanted." the coach sounds awfully meek compared to the time when we first met during the examination.
That big man who had told me such a convincing lie, he currently looks so small and frail. It feels like, if I were to push him away, he would fly off in instant...
With a calm way of speaking to catch him off guard, I delivered the hardest punch I could muster with my right hand, and aimed it directly to his stomach. Even though he's able to reflexively block it, my punch had sent him flying up onto the training hall's interior right from the entrance. He fell down the ground with a loud thud sound; staying there motionless the whole time I was looking, which was about several seconds maybe.
"H-how dare you!"
This time, a swift slap comes flying to my face right from the sides. As I didn't really have a grudge to the wife, I simply dodged it by quickly jumping back from her range.
"It's just payback, he's not my coach anymore so I could do things as I please."
Back then when I was a lot younger, I was told by grandfather to respect those who were generous enough to take their time on teaching me to become a much better person. I felt that it was crucial, as being teached by others were the only surefire way for me to learn something, so it becomes a part of my own decree to respect anyone who I regarded as a teacher or coach, regardless of how their ways would appeal to me.
Whether their ways of teaching might be acceptable or not, it's only a given for me to accept it and move on until our relationship as a student and teacher finally ended, and that is, after I finally learned everything which they had wished to teach me.
Though there would be a totally different outcome if my teacher suddenly gave up on me without any peculiar reason, or when he simply refuses to teach me anything before we even accomplished something worthwhile. I just can't accept that kind of attitude, it's pretty much the betrayal of all the trust I had given to them.
"But, why won't you please listen to what he said first? Why won't you first let him finish all of his words before you finally decided on resorting to violence?"
"Nope, and I just felt like punching him. He deserves it."
Sorry ma'am, but I think you should use your words carefully when speaking with a musclehead who couldn't understand what is the blasphemy called 'persuasive speech' or even every thing which is regarded as 'intelligent'.
"You...knave...you shall pay for this! I won't forgive you..." she then tried to pull a some kind of bladed weapon from her belt buckle..
But it was stopped right before the small blade were unsheathed by a thunderous scream coming from far away.
"Stop it, Lizbeth...do not ever draw the Serpent Dagger. Please calm down."
The Sandwich Lagger? Sounds interesting...
"Okay, it seems that you're already awake, you old fart. Let me hear what you wanna say about all of this me-"
"Oh dear, I already pulled it, I'm really sorry."
So that's the Salamich Bagger huh?
It's so unexpected, terribly unexpected. I didn't even have a hunch why it was called the Sapient Ligger at the first place.
Contrary to my expectations, the blade was shaped like a tampon.
"So that's what happened...well okay I didn't understand anything."
Seriously, I didn't understand all of this complex talk filled with blasphemy, but to surmise it up, the elven general whom I met earlier down the training hall, and then the forest, he was basically being overly poetic and melancholic. I wonder if he did compose something about his dead boyfriend?
Ah I see, that's why he wanted to send me off...so he could finally took a dump naked right alone in the forest while reminiscing about his dead boyfriend just to get a load of inspiration. That was the most poetic thing that I had ever witnessed...wait...
What was a poem again?
He is a forest elf and he could shot things quicker than anyone, so that made him the quickest shot. That was brilliant, I might have a talent for storywriting even though I can't write or even read. Is it possible, yeah sure it is...I know yet on the other side, I don't know. Consider it about fifty-fifty when it comes to that matter.
"Like I said Regulus, General Hawk came here to shut this place down by the order of the Kingdom because I can't pay the damn rent."
"Genital Hax? What a weird name for a dark elf."
What is rent? I only know the Kingdom of Avalon. You pay rent? Is it some kind of food so you have to pay for it? What does rent taste like...judging from the old fart's reaction, it seemed to be something bitter. So people like to eat many bitter things nowadays huh, I see...so that's why rotten coconuts weren't a popular product anymore.
"Would you please listen?"
"I'm hungry. If my stomach is empty, I can't think. Give me some Tacos and I'll listen..."
...if I'm feeling like it
The old fart just took out something from his pocket as I asked for some food.
"Sigh...okay...here's my boxed lunch if you want. Ain't got no Tacos here lad, got no money to waste, feeling so damn poor right after I greatly injured myself during the last war. I used to be a strong general with my iron fists...but then a frightening Orc tore my entire shoulder blade...can't even raise my fist anymore, and just merely using my hands seem painful."
Sigh...damn you old man, I just can't take a boxed lunch from a person like you.
"Nah, I had some pocket money with me, guess I'll just eat out at the family restaurant nearby. This will be my treat, so you could reserve that boxed lunch for evening snack if you want. Besides, for a fatso like ya it's too puny to even be called lunch. You need something hearty!"
"Hah...Regulus, I didn't think that you had this side in you."
"Food is a virtue, old man. It's against my beliefs to take a food from the hungry and the poor."
Believe it or not, after sympathizing with this man's lack of eating. I started to intently listen to his life story, and found myself being easily moved to tears on many things he had to do in order to survive in this world.
I don't know if he's actually lying or not, seeing as he could tell a convincing lie to me some moments before. Well, even if he actually lied, at least I could listen to a nice yet moving story.
Though all of this serene moment had all changed by the time I heard several footsteps coming into the training hall when both of us spoke together. An ominous presence emanates from behind my back, I know that this person was pretty far away from me...but his presence alone was so intimidating...
It was the elven general, and this time he was accompanied by several knights from the Kingdom's army.
"Well...if it isn't the human, I could say that I am filled with disdain upon meeting such creature of low intellect. The same goes to you, Ramirez. You should go back to your daughter's family in the slums. Your filthy presence is truly incorrigible."
What the hell was this elf talking about?
I don't know but things will start to get heated up right over here...damn it..
First and foremost, I think I left out my precious Club right around here. Without that weapon, I pretty much won't stand a chance against these guys.
"What now old man?"
"Your beloved club, I believe you called it by the name of Nostradamus."
Damn it old man, when you said that 'magic word' while handing the club to me, you obviously didn't know what will happen. You see, 'Nostradamus' isn't the name of the weapon. When you yell it's true name, it will turn into something even more wicked, like a toilet seat cover or many other stupid things you won't understand.
"No, it's name wasn't Nostradamus, you old geezer."
The club gets filled to the brim with energy, if I weren't able to release it soon, the club would soon turn itself into a Minotaur in order to wreak havoc on every nearby enemies out there. Armors won't help, the monster would utilize explosive attacks from a long range.
"What is it then..."
Aw crap...I finally said its true name, now the people who gathered around here was going to be killed by its power. I saw many soldiers gathering right at the entrance, ready to punish those who decided to fight the authorities, and it's currently me who they deem as an offender.
The club gives off a light so blinding; it formed a gigantic light pillar which stretched itself right to the heavens above.
"General Hawk...that's bad, he's going to summon the Flame of Heaven..we will die if we stay here...please run!"
You can say that, but for a moment I saw the general fainted while standing up, by the moment my club emits this powerful light. Guess this dark elf was just all talk, huh?
All that's well and ends well; the soldiers deliberately ran with their tails between their legs as they were basically afraid of lamps as they do while being faced by angry tampons.
By the way, there's one thing I really hate about this power, despite of it being really flashy and cool to look at.
"Let's go home dear! Tee-hee..."
"Gosh, not you again."
When the true name is called, it would summon a Minotaur girl that's already been with me for a really long time now...you could say she's like a childhood friend to me. If you're asking, she looks just like a human with a pair of formidable looking horns on her head.
Yeah, I lied just before, when you said 'Nostradamus' it does nothing. The club just naturally reacts to my energy when I touched it while I'm not wearing an energy sealing glove, and when it gets outta control...you could unleash a powerful shockwave and it would create a massive explosion upon impact with any objects, no matter if it's real or ethereal like ghosts.
"Who is this cute Minotaur girl...Regulus?"
"My childhood friend...yeah..."
The most annoying thing about her was...she would just stay here for a few days before turning back and I couldn't even use that club which has tons of cool moves because it's currently taking form as her.
Well, at least she's a terrific cook and her body was pretty well endowed too.
"Regi-chan...what are you looking at?"
"Nothing. If you would please excuse us, old man."
So yeah, this time I went home for real, as I were continuously nagged by this girl on the way. But really, her actions and demeanor were just too cute for me to even get irritated at her.
Well, guess being with her again wasn't so bad after all.