A.N: I'm kind of on a one-shot run aren't I? But I figure even if I can't get inspiration for the other stories the fact that I'm writing is a positive. Fortunately my holidays are about 2 weeks away so I'll put some time aside to work on HTKNYR, ML and TLaDaLoBB. Enjoy and Review!
Fool me once, Fool me twice.
I slapped him.
I slapped him across the face...with my hand.
I slapped him across the face, with my hand and then slammed the door on him.
Oh God, I have never slapped anybody before; I've never even punched someone playfully on the shoulder. But as soon as I opened my front door and there he was leaning against the wall, a small smile playing across his lips as though nothing had happened, my arm flung itself back and my hand made hard, sweet love to the side of his face.
I could hear him swearing from behind the door as I was performing a strange pacing, jumping on the spot kind of dance...similar to someone who desperately needed to go to the toilet.
"Go away, Darcy." I yelled through the door and slid the lock into place. Walking back into my living room, I swiped the remote from the couch to turn up the sounds of Bill Pullman's declaration of love to Sandra Bullock in the hopes that it would block out the persistent knocking from the front of my house.
I'm not usually so violent when I answer my front door, but as a result of the following events, well...he fucking deserved it:
8-9:30pm - wait an hour and a half for a date that doesn't show up.
9:30-10:30pm - wait another hour in the rain- without an umbrella- for a cab.
10:30-11pm- spend thirty minutes inhaling the scent of B.O and marijuana from the seedy cab driver.
11-11:10pm -finally return home and manage to catch the end of 'While you were Sleeping' on TV.
11:13pm- said date turns up.
I didn't even want to go on the date in the first place, but my friend- Clara- had all but forced me.
"Rosie," She had said, "As my maid of honour I need you to be on friendly terms with Darcy."
I shot her a disgusted over my cappuccino and flipped my sunglasses down from my forehead so I could roll my eyes in private. "Just because he's the best man doesn't mean I have to like him." I droned and spooned some chocolate-dusted foam into my mouth.
"Actually, it does."
"Actually, it doesn't" I returned tartly and mimicked her head tilt, much to her chagrin.
She pursed her glossy lips as her eyes narrowed. "I am ordering you to go out to dinner with him."
I looked up from cappuccino and smiled. "Bridezilla, much?"
"I liken myself more to a dictator than a mutant Japanese lizard." She retorted, brushed some imaginary lint off of her cap-sleeved dress and batted her pretty brown eyes innocently.
"I don't like him, Clara. I never have." I sighed and leant back in the cushioned chair, pushing my sunglasses back onto my head in an effort to return her puppy dog gaze with my own slightly darker brown ones.
"Bullshit, you like him. You are just holding a grudge over the fact he stood you up two years ago."
"Exactly, so why would want I want to attempt that again?"
"His grandmother travelled from overseas and surprised him, Rose." She insisted. As if the fact he stood me up wasn't bad enough, the fact he stood me up for an eighty year old woman with dentures was even worse.
"There is this amazing new invention called a telephone, it allows people to contact others in the event that they are unable to attend pre-planned occasions." I smiled sweetly and ran a frustrated hand through the fringe of my dishwater blonde hair.
"You need some highlights." She gestured and took a casual sip of her chai latte.
"I need a lot of things." I mumbled and was grateful for the change of subject. "But unfortunately buying your first home takes a lot of your disposable income."
I hadn't actually missed it that much, I was still in the blissful period of being a 'homeowner' and felt the same sort of possessiveness over my townhouse as a six year old with a barbie dream house.
"Tell you what," Clara interrupted my thoughts, "If you go on this date with Darcy, I will shout you a trip to the hairdresser and a new dress."
I stopped sipping my cappuccino and looked up at her, her face holding a triumphant expression as if to say 'Ha ha, I got you.'
It was a tempting offer, one which I initially refused until the deal was sweetened with the addition of new shoes...I couldn't resist.
But all of that was shot to shit now.
My once golden, shiny and perfectly styled hair was now hanging down my back in dark, wet tendrils and my navy, chiffon wrap dress was stuck to my skin and scratching unpleasantly. I unbuckled my matching pumps and placed them under the coffee table, reaching over to the side table and snatching the phone from its holding place. I punched in Clara's number and ignored the banging on my front door, sighing in annoyance at the chipper voice of her answering machine and striding in to the kitchen to find something to replace my missed dinner.
"Hello, my darling friend, you're probably having wild monkey sex with your husband to be. But I just want to let you know that his prick of a best man stood me up...again. I hope you are happy with yourself, because I certainly am not. Oh by the way, he's now standing outside my house three hours late with my handprint on the side of his face and if he keeps yelling out, out there I'm going to knee him in the balls... you can have a eunuch as part of your wedding party. Call me, love you." I stabbed the end call button and leant back on the kitchen counter.
In the darkness of the kitchen I allowed myself to contemplate over the fact that I had now been stood up twice by the same man. I sighed as I felt the mortification sink into my bones along with the chill from my wet dress. I would never admit it out loud but I had been infatuated with Darcy since we had first been introduced. Fitting the tall, dark and handsome bill definitely worked in his favour but the quick wit and contagious smile had me thoroughly besotted by the end of the night. However, I hold grudges; I will be the first to admit it and when Darcy not only stood me up but didn't call, I pushed that attraction to the back burner.
I strained my ears and realised, with a sigh that the banging and yelling had stopped. Sighing in relief I pushed off the counter and made a beeline to my staircase; the dress was starting to chaff on my skin. Unfortunately my journey to obtain track pants was interrupted by a resounding crash from my dining room. I let out a terrified scream as I spun around to see the open window and the figure half hanging in through the frame. Looking around for something to use as a weapon I noticed the figure push itself up from the wall and walk into the light.
"Settle down, Rosie." A deep voice groaned as he straightened up and rubbed the side of his ribs.
My fear turned into annoyance at the sound of his voice and I stalked back over to him.
"Do you have a death wish?" I hissed and felt my body instinctively place my weight on my left leg in preparation to make contact with his privates.
Darcy sighed and attempted to straighten his shirt out, which was stuck to his impressive chest. "Look, I'm sorry-" he began.
"Whatever, get out of my house before I take away your ability to reproduce." I gritted my teeth and pointed to the door.
"Don't be mad." He rolled his eyes and I planted my fists on my hips.
"Oh, I'm not mad, I'm furious. Not only have you stood me up again, you've broken into my house, you fucking lunatic." I hissed.
"Will you at least hear me out, Rosie?" he reached out to touch my shoulder and I slapped his hand away quickly. "I think I deserve at least that after you molested my cheek." I turned my gaze back onto his face and noted that his cheek still had a pink tinge to it. His mouth turned up slightly in amusement at my careful scrutiny and he took the opportunity to walk a bit closer.
"So what's the excuse this time?" I asked with faux casualness. "You were waylaid by a busload of bikini clad girls? You were offered the chance to be the next assistant on the Tardis?"
"I locked my keys in the car." He stated simply.
I felt my face scrunch up in annoyance and a shiver ran down my back from anger and the dampness of my dress. "You locked your keys in the car? What are you twelve?"
"I was nervous, Rosie, and I got a little flustered. It seems to happen wherever you're concerned." In any other situation, with any other person, the blush that rose in his cheeks would have been cute, but the way my chest tightened just made me angrier.
"Why didn't you call me?" I crossed my arms and refused to meet his gaze.
"My phone was in the car as well." He chuckled humourlessly and raised his palm to rub up and down his arm nervously, on anyone else it would've been endearing.
"Well you're just hopeless, aren't you?" I tried not to smile as it seemed his night may have been just as bad as mine- not worse-but possibly on par.
"So it would seem, since I can't catch a break when I'm trying to impress a girl." His eyes shone and when my lips deigned to stretch into a smile to match his, I tightened them and shot him a condescending glare.
"Whatever, I think it just goes to show that this," I gestured between us, "is not going to happen. You know what they say; Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me, fool me three times and people are going to think I'm retarded. I have no desire to try it again."
"I do." he stated simply and I had to ignore the fact that for moment- just a moment- I almost reconsidered.
I turned and waved a hand over my shoulder. "I don't, so go away."
Quick as lightening Darcy managed to position himself in front of me and raise a defiant brow. "No, you have no idea how long I've worked on this." He enforced taking another step closer.
"Worked on what?" I spat, and tried to pull the dress so that it sat properly on my body as opposed to being scrunched and stuck on all the wrong places.
"Trying to get you to the point where you would agree to go out with me again." He sighed.
I paused and stared at him for a moment.
"I'm not something you should work on!" I all but squawked, pointing my finger into his chest and using it to keep him at a distance. This new found contact caused a shiver to run up my finger and through my arm, but I ignored it and allowed the awkwardness to fuel my anger.
He shrugged. "Well I wouldn't have to work on it if you were a bit more accommodating!"
"I'd be a bit more accommodating if you didn't embarrass the shit out of me at every turn!" I growled. "By the way it was Clara who bribed me to go out with you!"
"I know, she owes me a favour."
I shot my head up to meet his stare. "You sneaky little bastard. You ditch me at dates, break into my house, bribe my friends and then expect me to be tickled pink at the prospect of sharing oxygen with you."
There was a pause where he mulled over the words and seemed, just for a moment, to relent to what I was saying. However, immediately following that pause he shot me with a powerful look and his words took on a low, sincere and serious tone. "Look, you like me and I like you and the only real issue we have is timing."
I felt my breath catch in my throat and the simplicity and truth of the statement stopped in my tracks for a second...just a second. "I have great timing; you just can't be in the right place at the right bloody time!" I returned harshly.
"Well, I'm here now." He offered and the silence that followed his statement became thick with tension.
Yes, I had liked Darcy.
Yes, touching him caused me to feel all bubbly inside.
And yes, he was in front of me enforcing the fact that he was interested in me as well but that does not mean that those things made up for the now numerous rejections that had occurred previously.
"We-Well, that d-doesn't matter." I stumbled over the words and the rug on my living room floor.
"Whoa, careful." He grabbed onto my elbow and pulled me back up into a standing position. He didn't let go and I found myself surveying him slowly and carefully. Every now and then I allowed myself to consider those characteristic that initially attracted me to him, it seemed that I was the only one in our large circle of friends who had a dislike for Darcy. Mind you none of them had to wait an hour in the rain for him. His normally dark and short hair was messy and pasted in odd places on his head, the tanned skin was paler due to the cold and his clothes couldn't decide whether to cling to his athletic body or hang damply. Even though he looked like he had an altercation with a cyclone he still made a person reconsider the need for clothing in his presence.
"You look like a drowned rat." I offered weakly.
"So do you." He returned lowly. "But you make it work."
He was so close that I could see his chest rising and falling with each breath. So close and yet I couldn't will myself to move. He took another step forward so that we were chest to chest and I could feel the moisture from his clothes mixing with my own. At my lack of retreat he felt it necessary to run his palms up my arms, leaving a trail of goose bumps in its wake. His hands finally rested on my neck and he used it to pull me a hairs width away from his lips which I noticed were surprisingly red and full; very...kissable.
"I think the best thing for us- since we don't have much luck with dates- would be to cut to the chase and see if we can handle the other stuff." He murmured lowly. I didn't pull away but raised an amused eyebrow and cleared my throat.
"Other stuff?" I enquired softly.
His head tilted to the side and the motion caused him to accidentally brush against my mouth, the action causing a considerable amount of nerves to go haywire. "Don't leave me hanging, Rosie." He murmured, his eyes half-closed and his thumb stroking down the column of my neck.
I let out a breath and moved a bit away, still not sure why I didn't just turn and run. "Consider it payback." I returned.
"I'll consider it an invitation to be more assertive." He finished and closed the distance between us. His hands moved from my neck up to my cheeks and he stepped forward to press against me. I didn't have a moment to think before his mouth was hotly pressed against mine and after that it was even more difficult for my brain to function. After a few moments he had succeeded in moving us over to the couch and entreating my mouth with his tongue. I tangled my fingers into his hair, pulling him closer and was rewarded with a deep moan that vibrated against my lips and caused him to lower his hands to cup my other cheeks. I was just starting to think that maybe this was not the best way to show Darcy that I was pissed off at him when the phone rang.
I paused with my mouth still latched to his as it rang a second time.
"Ignore it." He muttered as he placed soft kisses on my mouth and across my jaw. It rang a third time and I internally battled over the possibilities; it could be an emergency, some sort of random lottery, an annoying telemarketer or the little girl from 'The Ring'. The answering machine clicked on just as his hand ran up my thigh and gripped onto my hip, causing me to gasp and pull his lips back onto mine.
"Hey it's me," Clara's voice rang through the room and I paused once again. "I am so sorry! I can't believe Darcy didn't show up, what a dick! You have every right to kick him in the balls like you said-" Darcy looked up at me with raised eyebrows and I couldn't help but shrug and smirk in return. "-It doesn't make any sense! Theo told me that Darcy had said he wanted to go out with you since you guys first met! Apparently he said you have an ass that could make a monk cry." It was my turn to raise my eyebrows and he merely grinned widely and ran his hand down to caress said muscle. "You know what?" Clara announced as Darcy straightened up and I straightened out my dress. "I'll kick him in the balls myself and film it and put it up on YouTube!" I could tell from the tone of her voice that the idea was becoming truly exciting for her and I wouldn't have minded listening to some more of her ideas until Darcy picked up the phone swiftly.
"Hey Clara, it's Darcy. I'm trying to make out with Rosie but you threatening to knee me in the balls is ruining my concentration." I snorted in humour as I strained to hear what she was saying on the other end.
"Yeah, I know, I have but I will again." He returned to the jabbering on the other end before saying good bye and turning to me.
"What did she say?" I questioned, pushing off the back of the couch to walk over but being halted by his hand motioning to stay.
"She said it was about time and that she was happy that you gave into our intense chemistry and that I should apologise until you agreed to have crazy make-up sex with me." He nodded seriously but couldn't hide the sparkling humour in his eyes.
"She did not!" I gasped.
"Maybe not the last one, but I'm sure she meant it, so..." he trailed off and straightened his shirt unsuccessfully, clearing his throat in preparation.
"I'm sorry for ruining two perfectly good dates and a perfectly good dress according to Clara and making you resort to physical violence." He rolled his eyes on the last one and rubbed his cheek for good measure. "It was unintentional and I will make it up to you in any way I can." The smouldering look in his eyes alluded me to the fact that I could take that statement in any way I chose.
"This doesn't make up for your terrible punctuality." I reasoned trying to hide the smile that threatened to cross my face as he led me around to sit on the couch.
He took my hand in his larger, warmer palm and grinned as he traced meaningless patterns with his thumb. "I'm willing to spend as much time as possible making it up to you; days, months, years even."
"We could've avoided all this if you just called after the first time." I frowned, but even I will admit it was half-hearted, especially since he was moving back into my personal bubble and I didn't mind in the slightest.
"Better late than never, honey" he smiled and I stared at him for a moment before raising my palm and landing a swift tap on the side of his face; not as hard as the first but enough to make him stand to attention.
"Ow, what was that for?" he chuckled nervously, lifting his palm to rub against the slightly pink skin.
"That was for the first time you ditched me." I nodded and placed my own hand over his, allowing him to tangle our fingers together.
"You waited that long to pay me back?" he queried, placing a soft kiss to the sensitive skin of my wrist.
"Better late than never, honey." I grinned and pulled his amused and slightly shocked mouth back onto mine.
Reviews are much appreciated my happy campers!