Thinking back, I remember falling to the floor in the middle of the living room, shaking uncontrollably, tears streaming down my face. I remember my mother hugging me, saying everything would be okay. But I don't remember much else of the following week. Days drug by in a blur, all blended together and tainted with sorrow.
That sorrow hits me now, and I let my tears distort my vision. I think of all the times I've knelt in this same spot, crying over the same piece of rock that has his name carved in it. All of the times I forced the memories down, held the tears back. But this time, I don't stop either of them.
Thoughts of Harris fill my mind as I slowly push myself up from the ground and wipe my eyes. On my way back to the truck, I make a decision. I don't consider the consequences. I don't linger on the regrets. I just start the truck up and pull out of the driveway, letting the cemetery grow smaller and smaller in my rear view mirror. I tear down the road, gravel flying beneath the tires.
It only takes me ten minutes to get there. I park on the side of the road and get out to take one last look around. The big oak tree has long since fallen into the river below, but the embankment still bears the scar of where it used to be rooted. The mouth of the bridge is still roped off, with signs that say "Danger. Unstable Bridge" posted. The wooden planks look even more worn and decrepit, but they still extend over the water rushing below. My eyes land on the spot where Harris' truck had crashed. They never found his body, but helicopters came in once the storm receded and took the truck away. There's nothing left now to mark the accident but a tiny white wooden cross they had placed on the river bank.
With tears falling freely again, I turn back to the truck. I can't help but think of all the dreams I've had about coming back to this place. Hoping he'd be there, guitar sitting across his lap, ready to play me a song. Wishing I'd wake up in the morning to find him lying in bed with me, as if he'd never left. Dreaming about the life I would have had if I still had him.
These thoughts confirm my decision. My choice is made, my mind is set. I close my eyes. Looking back, I should have known this would be the ending all along. Should have known I'd come back to him. I open my eyes and steer the truck into the road.
Adrenaline rushing through my body, I put my foot on the gas pedal and take a deep breath. Headlights shining out across the broken span of wooden planks and the water below, I floor it. After all these years, I'm finally going to meet Harris at Crooked River Bridge.
Well that's it! I would appreciate any and all comments, feedback, suggestions, or critiques you'd like to send my way!
Let me know what you thought, prettttty please? I hope everyone liked it:)
Thank y'all so much for taking the time to read my story. You have no idea how much it means to me.
Love, Kaitlin:)