it's the feeling you get
when you've been up all night
without realizing it
when the sunrise tells you
that you've been sprawled
on the floor for hours
and though you've been
bleeding out for days
you're still alive
and the sun still warms your skin
just like it used to
though all you can feel is the acidic burn
of regret in your throat.
you'll pick yourself up,
hell, you may even dust yourself off again
but it'll be there all day.
every time you blink you'll see
those same old worn dreams
and you'll remember all too vividly
the day you told them goodbye,
the day you decided a life alone
was better than that misery
but every step you take brings you closer
and closer to reconciliation
and though your mind will scream injustices,
it really has nothing to do with
what your heart wants
and you know that ultimately
you'll go wherever your feet bring you
even if it's back to the cold tiles
of your bathroom floor,
even if it's back to loneliness.