A lot of people might think it's sad, but it's for the best.
I hate the feeling.
I hate being ignored and not loved.
Of course my family loves me, but that love just isn't enough anymore.
They will always love me and sadly deep down in my heart, I know that that's just not enough.
I need real love, not that my family's love isn't love at all it's just that isn't not the love I want.
I feel like there's just no way to live without it now that I truly know what it feels like.
There's just no reason to be alive if I don't have it.
I miss it and it's been far too long since I've felt it.
I can't eat and when I do I overeat and just feel fat.
I can't sleep and when I do I feel like nothing.
I feel unloved.
I feel betrayed.
I feel useless.
I have no words anymore.
Everyone's wondering why I won't talk...why don't they ask you?
Now I'm not going to talk ever again.
I'll never have to feel anything.
. . .
I ran into the bathroom and took the bottle of pills from behind the sink and ran back into my bedroom and closed the door.
My mom trusted me and that was why she wasn't home.
She trusted me a little too much.
Now, because she trusted me I was about to do something I wanted to do for months.
. . .
I popped every single one, one by one into my mouth.
All of the pills were gone and now in my body.
I just laid there on my bed and watched my bedroom get darker and darker.
I blinked and blinked, but my eyes couldn't stay open any longer.
I breathed in a large breath and let it out.
There was a flash of white and I blinked one more time.
My eyes closed and I didn't breath.
My body lost feeling and I felt nothing.
Total darkness and nothingness.
I was gone and if he cared then it was too late.