Blue ink stains my arm

I drag the Sharpie across my left arm

Over the scars

Catching on the fresh healing

In no

Particular pattern

Just obscuring

The dark lines

I do it often now

The more

I cut

The more

I draw

It helps

Covers it

And

Makes something more of them

Swirls blossm from scabs

Bright feline eyes from long healed

Complicated patterns from pain

Fresh and old

Blue and sometimes aqua green

Perhaps not giving meaning

But giving

Something different

Hope?

New life?

Or is it just forcing delay to the inevitable?

I don't know

Nor will I

Until the ink fades

Then once again

When the ink fades

I will discover if

It was drawing of hope

Or drawings of delay

When the ink fades

As it has many times before

I will find out

But I will draw again

Discover again

And one day

The discovery

Will differ

And I will never be the same