They looked into the sky and felt empty. Yet full. Does that work? Yes. It does. The clouds were rolling in rapidly and one could sense a thunderstorm approaching. No, they couldn't hear it. But they could taste it. The air tasted sweet but sour, humid but dry, dense but light. They watched the clouds slowly darken until they were like iron filings, the substance found in chemical laboraties. They waited for the rain to begin but nothing came. They wanted it to rain. Yes, they wanted it to rain. With the rain, emotions would come too. Emotions locked up for too long. Emotions that were bottled up. Emotions that were begging, crying, weeping to be set free. And the best thing about rain? No one could see if one was crying. Thunder rumbled from the heavens above and the lightning crackled, but still, no rain. They were disappointed but remained still, at the top of the grassy hill, looking out through the country. It was pretty, yes, but not admirable. It was just fields as far as the eye could see. Not that exciting but they knew that when the storm passed, a mist would cling to the hills, making the landscape seem even more incredible. They waited.
And finally, something fell. Something small. Something wet. Something called rain. One drop. Two drop. Three drop. Four drop. Five, six, seven and eight. The rain began to fall quicker and quicker until, finally, the storm was right upon them. And they never felt more alive in their life. As the rain fell, their emotions, their feelings and their thoughts leaked out of once. They screamed for all they were worth until their throat was raw. They cried until their eyes were dry and itchy. They beat the ground until their fists were swollen, bruised and bleeding. And then, when there was no tears left, blood leaked from their eyes. The rain only hid the tears that were clear. Blood was easy to see through the water running down their face.
The wind picked up, blowing their hair into their face and away. Their screams continued and were carried away by the wind, never to be heard until the storm was over. They liked the rain. The rain was safe and secure. The rain enabled them to do whatever they wish. Be whoever they wish. Change however they wish. Every drop that fell on the now depressing countryside was one more emotion that they had to deal with. They never realised until now that they were hardly human. A robot. A machine. No, they were hardly human. They didn't feel it. They didn't feel at all. They didn't like emotions. Emotions were weak. Emotions would lead to their downfall, their descent, their loss, their end.
The sounds clashed together and they could hardly hear anything. Their screams had died out and now their wet hair was being clenched by angry fists. The pain felt good. It felt nice. It made them feel alive. They didn't like being numb. But they couldn't control it. Faking emotions was easy. Too easy. Others thought they were real. Others thought they were human. No. Wrong. Incorrect. Incomplete. Imperfect. They pondered this as the pain wore away. Faking. Acting. Pretending. Joking. Kidding. They didn't like it. They didn't like it. They wanted to be honest with everyone. They wanted everyone to know the truth. But it would hurt them. It would hurt them to know. To know. The truth. The truth hurts.
And so, as the rain fell, they didn't know what to do. They didn't know whether to scream some more, cry some more hurt their self more. And then a thought occurred to them. As the rain began to fade gradually, they laughed. They laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed. They bent over and belted it. Let it all out. Let the happiness melt into nothing. Until there was only raw emotions. And when the joy disappeared, the distress returned when they realised they had gone mad. Officially. They had snapped, bent, wallowed and fallen. The madness was there, plain to see, but no one saw it. No one at all. No one knew. No one knew. The truth. They wouldn't let anyone see. Not now. Not now. As the rain fell, they poured their soul into the environment and they'd never get it back. As the rain fell, they only had one way to become remotely human again.
When the rain had fallen, they went back to being 'them' again. They went back to being an imposter of the person they once used to be.