Death Ponders Life, the Universe and Everything

An Introduction

I had thought I wouldn't have to spend too long introducing myself—you're probably quite familiar with me, though you have not yet had the privilege of meeting me in person. Unfortunately, I overestimated you.

Let's get a few things straight. Most interpretations of me are utter bullcrap. If you're picturing me as some skeletal twig of a man who wears a long black cloak and wields a scythe, forget it. Although I am literally as old as the Universe itself, I do not appear so, though I often feel my age. I often have to be in two or three places at once, and how could I do that if I were confined to a zimmer frame? No, to most people I appear quite young. I don't have a scythe, either; they're much too conspicuous, and I do not rely on weapons to kill people. I am Death, after all. My methods are much more inventive than that. My clothes are not what you'd expect, either. It's true that I wear a lot of black, but no long cloaks or anything. I prefer jeans and a hoodie. I'm always working, so I may as well wear something comfortable. It helps me blend in more, too, but I'm not sure what would happen if I got caught.

That's another thing I should explain; I am not a disembodied spirit but a living entity. I have a solid body, the appearance and location of which I can change at will. I can't choose where I go, though. I just end up where I'm needed and take an appropriate form. This makes it less of a shock for the person who is dying; perhaps I appear as a deceased friend or a beautiful angel. I once appeared as Elvis Presley. Don't even ask how that happened.

I've started to ramble now. Sorry about that, but I have little concept of time, which makes my job a hell of a lot easier, no pun intended. In summary; I am Death, I am omnipotent, I can manipulate my body and I am very misunderstood, which is why I've decided to publish my journal. In it I have written my thoughts and feelings on many subjects, from the wonderful to the whimsical. All I ask is that you keep an open mind while reading, and always remember:

I am watching you.