Generic Building Block Guys
*BOB the NON-THEMED CIVILLIAN walks up to JIM THE ASTRONAUT FOR SOME REASON*
BOB: Hey, Astronaut!
BOB: Do… Do you talk?
*LICENSED MOVIE VILLAIN walks up to JIM and kills him with a GENERIC RAY GUN*
BOB: Oh no. Not another "Ultimate Showdown" thing.
*BOB suddenly gets COMPLETELY OUT OF PLACE SWORD*
BOB: How did that happen?
VILLAIN: Haha! Ray guns always beat out of date, hilariously out of place swords!
BOB: Bad news, Villain…
*BOB gets SUN GLASSES*
BOB: … Your Ray gun has no real ammunition.
VILLAIN: That's not a threatening one liner. It's not even a pun.
VILLAIN: GASP! I WAS TOTALLY OWNED!
*BOB awkwardly slashes VILLAIN. VILLAIN lays down, and that means DEATH. Or he fainted. Depends on the CHILD. This NARRATION isn't FUNNY*
VIEWER: I agree!
BOB: We have a plot.
AUTHOR: No. We really don't.
BOB: I shall kill you... Sorry, I don't know your name.
VILLAIN: My name is *CENSORED FOR COPYRIGHT THINGIES*
BOB: Ah. I shall kill you, *THIS IS STILL CENSORED*!
VILLAIN: You can't kill me!
BOB: Why? Do you think I'm not STRONG enough?
VILLAIN: No! I am easy to rebuild! And next time, I won't have such a comically sucky weapon!
*BOB tries to pop VILLAIN'S head off*
VILLAIN: What are you doing?
BOB: Read the narration!
VILLAIN: Ah. Why is it taking you so long?
BOB: Your heads stuck! It's been on you for too long!
VILLAIN: Oh. Cool. I, I mean, that's my plan! Mwahahahaha!
BOB: Damn! Ah, screw it. I'm takin' your pants and leaving.
*BOB steals VILLAIN'S PANTS which are his LEGS too for some reason*
VILLAIN: Noooooooooo! Help me!
*THE GODDAMNED SANTA comes and KICKS SOME JOLLY ASS on BOB*
SANTA: Take that, you…
*SANTA puts on some WICKED COOL SHADES*
SANTA: Ho, ho, hoe.
VILLAIN: Awesome five!
*SANTA and VILLAIN high five. And it's so awesome that I can't write it. Not just because I'm lazy*
VIEWER: Yeah right.
AUTHOR: Why do I keep writing you bein' such a meanie…
AUTHOR: SHUT UP STUPID HEAD! *Cries in Ironic Smiley Face Corner*
SANTA: You shut up. Biatch.
AUTHOR: Yes, master…
SANTA: Anyway, *CENSORED FOR… YOU KNOW WHAT* here's your balls back. They're attached to your pants.
VILLAIN: Thanks, mister!
SANTA: Ha. Cute. Little boy, you may call me "Master".
VILLAIN: What an honour!
LADY WHO SINGS THOSE JINGLES IN COMMERCIALS: Santa! He's better than you!
SANTA: Thank you, out of work lady. I'll see you in my bedroom.
VIEWER: This isn't funny.
*SANTA'S eyes get all whirly. It's heavily implied he's mind controlling the VIEWER. This would be much better if YOU weren't reading this*
VIEWER: All praise to the goddamned Santa!
SANTA: Hell's right! I have successfully sucked all the humour from this episode! Mwahaha!
*Suddenly A NINJA beheads SANTA. He manages to do this, due to the fact that SANTA isn't a NINJA*
SANTA'S HEAD: How did you beat ME? I'm the un-developed bad ass character!
NINJA: Little did you know that Ninja's win every battle.
SANTA'S HEAD: But-
NINJA: Every. Battle. EVER. I learned this from Master Midget with Laser-sword!
VILLAIN: Does he happen to be green? Talks weird does he?
VILLAIN: I think I know him.
SANTA'S HEAD: Enough witty back and forth! Put my head back on *This joke is getting old*!
BOB: Aren't I in this story?
*NINJA beheads BOB*
NINJA: Now you're not.
*NINJA throws SANTA'S HEAD behind DRESSER*
VIEWER: That ending was shi-
AUTHOR: Yes, that's the best ending I can think of!
VIEWER: That's sad. Noob.
AUTHOR: Hey, at least I'm not constantly critiquing some random author.
VIEWER: Don't pin my attitude on me. You're the one writing me.
AUTHOR: I just got Shamalan'd!