Dear you, any of you;

I write this letter to apologize that I'm not that perfect little girl

But while my heart still itches I'll tell you I'm my own

You know I'll become a disaster of a child, so treat me like hell

As you start to outcast me don't forget the money you wasted on me

If you do I wont be able to pay you back for that lifetime,

Oh dear you, you had the choice wether or not to keep such a burden

Three sons weren't enough huh? Dear mama wanted a little girl

To bad mama got one that cuts herself and fails at school,

Not to mention daddy left when your first girl was first born, little old me

What's this, tens year fly and our mama has another chance for a true daughter

Will she notice this time if her big brothers hurt her, nope they're stitched

Mama don't put so much faith in that new child, I know she's perfect now at five

Little sister I love you so much but stop being so smart and great at sport

She needs to stop being better at what I love doing most and everything else,

Go away, you think I'm just being a jealous girl

Well, this happens when your mother says I don't want you

Yet this entire perfect ness is impossible for me, I'm mental minded

It's not the new children around me that makes me this way,

Dear you mama, at least realise that I was abused, hit and torn

Bruises weren't always the case, but a pleasure, which made me afraid

Used as a doll for their own needs, I was taken dressed or bare

Screaming was an option but I never had the courage

Boys had hands all over and lip on lips to mine, one I loved, one I knew and one was blood

A rotation of living a normal life having a best friend I fought with all the time, but had a common personality

Then there was this scandal of pain, confusion and strong fear,

Caught out, the one I loved teased me and the one I knew, my blood went on for years

Snap me back to reality, then again don't because suicide will come to mind

Pain inside will over flow with blood from the hand I need to draw my feelings with,

So dear to whom this may concern I'll tell now my first true love gave me the words no

He wanted someone else though, but thank you for teaching the real feeling of love

To bad it started to follow that man who cheats like breathing, yet he kissed enough to die

I followed my heart and got close to him, even though I knew he'd always be near

His feelings grew for me but, I started to run, and he kept chasing

So many times he held me tight and make my heart tick, but that's the trick

The times he was close enough to kiss me hurt

Years it felt like with him but they were only precious months

Sometimes single sentences steal the true meaning of love

First time he said I love you was whispered in my ear

Guess what I did

Lets say I'll miss his lips kissing my hand,

To whom it may concern I lived my life without forgetting. And not forgiving.