I remember how on sun kissed grass
hay fever tickling our eyes
you kissed me softly and
promised to stay by my side forever
you swore an allegiance to my heart
to cater for my every whim
in your kisses you showed me how
our life could be together
with hay fever tickling our eyes
I remember that day

And like it was yesterday
I can call to mind a rainy day
when whilst nursing our flu
we held each other during the cold
and comforted the other
with arms round shoulders
our favourite film plays in the background
as we slumber side by side
cocooned nursing our flu
I recall it like it was yesterday

I know exactly where I keep the memory
of the day we got the news
that you weren't going to mine forever
our ticking time bomb had been ticking
and was now close to destructive levels
how were we to have our future?
Lying on grassy hills and watching rubbish
together in our home, being our own family
the day we got the news:
etched in its place in my memory

You held me close to your beating heart
and made me remember the tempo
we smiled weakly as we listed the songs
that fitted the constant beat
but I can't remember those songs
all I recall is the fact it was beating
your hand smoothed my hair
while you sang a song of 'it's going to be okays'
held close to your beating heart
I still remember the tempo

Lamenting on how you lay there
not being able to share your pain
not knowing how to make it alright
all I could do was watch you dream
under your translucent eyelids
and stroke your large limp hand with mine
I travel on a boat to places
I could never let myself forget
as I lamented how you lay there
unable to share your pain

I remembered when you kissed me
as hay fever tickled our eyes

And it feels like it was yesterday
we nursed our flu sleeping side by side

I withdraw the memory of the day we got the news
and realise our lost future together

And I know the exact tempo of your heart
while you sang a song of 'it's going to be Okays'

Despite our short time together
and the life we might have known
lost on the wind of reality
I can't help but smile at the memories
because however heart breaking they are
I wouldn't change my time with you for the world
and I don't regret the decisions I made
or the things we did
and I love you lying there on the hospital bed
lost in a mass of tubing
just as much as I did
when hay fever tickled our noses
when we nursed our flu together
when we got the news that brought you here
when I memorised the tempo of your heart

I love you more still as the sporadic beeping
and erratic triangles on the monitor
become a constant note
and a line straight through my own heart