Re-edited to correct mistakes

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Today is the greatest day in sport history. Today is the first annual great snail race. Many fierce snails were going to compete in hopes of winning the shiny gold cup. No one except Loser wanted to lose but, there was something sinister in the air. The snails looked disturbed but who cares? The ref looked uninterested and simply said go.

Blazing Fury blazed onto the track and took first place. Fried Chicken was right behind him. It was a really close race but, Cowenstein and Loser had not moved away from the start line! Cheater suddenly fired laser beams and fried . Blazing Fury was furious. He turned around and roasted The Cheater with a conveniently placed flamethrower. That allowed The Milky Way to take the lead but suddenly, Peyton Manning (the snail) came flying passed him on a football! Sadly, he couldn't get off in time and got flattened.

Poor Peyton… anyway, Loser finally left the start line! Then he quit and got a hot dog! Dumb snail… Cowenstein still hadn't left starting line and everyone was starting to wonder why he even signed up for the race. The same went for Slacker who toke a nap on the middle of the track! Milky Way also took a break and ate a chocolate bar. Too bad he forgot snails aren't supposed to eat chocolate. He promptly died.

Blazing Fury was on a rampage! He was roasting everyone with his flamethrower! Everyone except Giant the Giant snail. Giant caught up to Blazing Fury and ate him! Snow Flake took the lead and was about to win when… a dragon came out of no where and destroyed the all! Well, all with the exception of Cowenstein! Cowenstein ever so slowly made his way to the finish line.

10 hours later… he was about to make to the finish line when he fell asleep. 15 hours later… Cowenstein was a inch away from the finish line when he stopped to tie his non-existent shoes. 25 hours later… the idiots who still hadn't left the arena watched in anticipation as Cowenstein finally finished tying his imaginary shoes. Once again he was about to cross the finish line when… he somehow lost sight of the finish line. 2 hours later… Cowenstien finally discovered the GIANT RED LINE THAT WAS RIGHT IN HIS FACE and to the relief of the poor souls who were still watching, crossed the finish line!

There was a huge party celebrating his victory ( or maybe the fact that it was finally over) and a gigantic parade right before they handed him the gold cup. Sadly, a snail can't hold cups that are 10 times bigger than it. Cowenstien was crushed. Needless to say, this was the first and last great snail race.

The End

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This was my first story in fiction press. Please review