Chapter 1: Why am I here?

You may ask yourself this many times in your life. Are you here to make the world better for others? To educate others? To kill others? I know why I'm here. I'm here to be amazing.

And I am.

You see, when I was born, I thought "Why am I here?" I knew when my parents named me. My name is Dark Ian Lord. Just ignore the Ian part. My parents had big hopes for their little Demon Spawn. Dark Lord. Doesn't the name have a good ring to it? Now thanks to me, every half-baked big bad calls themself "The Dark Lord". Yet, you're not here to listen to me rant.

When I was a child, I was not like the other children. It's strange. Their isn't very many beings born from the depths of hell created to reak havoc on an unsuspecting world in public school. Strange, right?

At age six, I found out that I was a demon. My parents told me that not every child had no visible mouth, nose, or pupils. And that they didn't have extremely dark purple skin. And that they didn't have the strength of a behemoth. If you couldn't tell, I wasn't a very intelligent child.

My life soon took a turn for the better. I studied how to channel my demon powers for destruction. I'm curious of why they'd have books on the subject in a elementary school. On my seventh birthday, I was given my first oversized sword. I named it Snoogee the Destroyer. I thanked my parents, then took Snoogee out and annihilated about... Half of the town.

In the Fall, I used my kick arse magic and gave Snoogee life. After that he became my bestest friend. We would talk all day about the sky, how it feels not to have most facial features, and Why we were here. We determined that I was here to be The Lord of Darkness, and that he was here to die in a spectacular fashion to motivate me to be The Lord of Darkness. He was very genre saavy.

Snoogee died several days later. Despite our assumptions, he was mauled by the extremely rare weapon eating bloo bear, and it didn't motivate me to become a Lord of Darkness. Well, it didn't yet...