I'm so lost.
It's not your fault; I know that, but
I. Just. Wanted. To protect you.
Why can't I be there?
Why can't I put it into words?
Then, I can't have my expression
without my self-destruction.
I bet I can cut deeper than her.
(No more metaphors;
I'm too tired.)
I just can't stop listening to that song
but I think I'm getting numb.
You asked if I was okay, sure-
how the hell could I be okay?
Now everything is wrong!
is fucked up by my damn familiarity
(I'm not strong enough
to be the one)
and I didn't want to make a routine
of becoming so lowly when
I should be so high.
I swear to God I won't be able to handle it
if my phone rings and it's not you.
But how could I have stood by and watched?
I wanted to run
into your mother's arms,
let somebody else see that side of me
while you went and had a nice chat about
how I'm bringing you down.
"It's good to have you with us…"
Maybe this song is the only thing
I can count on.