Out and about, up and beyond, where shall this story take you today? Perhaps we shall fly down upon a roving battle, or watch a horse race amongst the horizon. Or then maybe, we'll go to a world where magic is as cliché as teenagers, and the ethereal ghosts bow of mud barriers is the words on everyone's lips.
This story begins on a bright sunny day, let us zoom ahead, keep zooming, now stop. This zooming has taken us to the end of the day, where the sun is hidden behind the clouds. So, how could a brilliant sunny morning turn into a dreary cloudy day? There's only one solution, it can only be the work of the ethereal ghosts bow of mud barriers.
And it all started with a scream…
"There's a dragon on my head!" Jasmine woke to her own scream, frantically swatting at the swathe of blue hair that mopped her head.
"Jasmine?" Calm, her mum stood before her, no sign of fear on her face.
"Mum get it off!"
"There's nothing on your head."
Immediately Jasmine stopped turning head over heels. One pat of her head and she was calm, done in her screaming. "Oh."
"Oh indeed." She was left alone in her room.
That had been the fifth time in the week that she had woken screaming there was something on her head. First the gargules, then the jellywonkers, a few cats and dogs in between, and now a dragon. She had never even seen a dragon, let alone have one on her head.
"Someone somewhere must be up to something." And she stroked her chin in a very thoughtful way, determined to find out.
Jasmine walked along the red-paved streets flicking a little blue orb about in her hand. She always carried it with her, for the little blue orb held all the magic she had, and without it, she could do zilch. Except make sandwiches, she had learnt how to make sandwiches without magic the other day.
Anyone passing would've seen the thoughtful expression on her face and knew that she was thinking hard. Or that someone had put a spell on her, which wasn't very unlikely.
"Someone somewhere must be up to something," she repeated. Each time, she hoped a name would somehow pop into one of the places and she would know who and where this something was.
"Maybe I should try and use my magic," Jasmine exclaimed, proud at her light bulb moment. Brining the orb close to her eyes, she let her eyelids slip shut.
"Show me where this someone is that's doing something." And there it was, the vision that came to her sight. Gushing liquids, falling colours, serene sounds. "The ice-cream shop!" And off she ran.
There to welcome here were the voices of her friends, the rolling of assorted toppings, and the squirting of sauces.
"Hey Jasmine, come have an ice-cream."
"Sorry Mizzy, but I'm on a mission today, can't eat now." She almost walked past the shop before she realised she had come for a reason. "Maybe just one then."
Eating her ice-cream she looked around coolly, Mizzy chatting away beside her every moment. There was that new boy, maybe he was up to something. But he looked far too buff to have much magic, it was the puny ones that had it all. There was Angelina, who had never liked her, but she was a brunette, and brunettes were only good for cleaning in the end.
"Jasmine, if you don't pay attention to this instant, I'll pour this ice-cream all over your head."
Immediately Jasmine picked up. "You'll do what?"
"Pour this ice-cream on you head, but c'mon listen up."
"Jasmine if you're thinking that I'm the one that's been making you think you have stuff on your head, you're wrong."
But Jasmine hadn't said anything…
"You called me this morning, remember?"
Oh yeah, she remembered. "It's gotta be someone Mizzy, it's messing me around."
"That's what I've been trying to tell you. It's the ethereal ghosts bow of mud barriers."
"The ethereal ghosts bow of mud barriers, don't you ever pay attention to anything."
"Hey look, there's Bradie."
"Jasmine," Mizzy had to put on her stern face.
"Sorry, go on."
"The ethereal ghosts bow of mud barriers is from another world, it's messing everything up here, it's not just you strange things are happening to. Rolan keeps claiming there's a koala in his backpack.
Jasmine pondered a moment, that thoughtful look returned. "What's a koala?"
"That's the thing, it's nothing here, it's from another world, where this ethereal ghosts bow of mud barriers is from."
"And what world is that?" Jasmine asked cautiously, not wanting to get mixed up in anything unnecessary.
Da da daaaaaaa. Opps, too early, let's take that back.
Mizzy looked down at her eaten ice-cream, which hadn't ended up on anyone head. "Australia." Da da daaaaaaa. The room fled to silence. Someone screamed. People looked around edgily.
"Oh bloody Australia then."
Everyone returned to their doings.
Mizzy was sighing. "You gotta put a bloody in front of Australia otherwise people don't get you, sometimes I wonder if this world is turning to gunk."
"There's a possum on my head!" Jasmine flailed frantically, throwing herself about on the floor.
"There's no possum Jasmine."
"Oh." Quickly she had righted herself, smiling at anyone who turned their way.
"She's got ethereal ghosts bow of mud barriers syndrome," Mizzy explained.
Jasmine had nothing left to fight back. "I guess I do."
"So how do I get rid of it?"
"I'll show you."
Jasmine and Mizzy walked along in silence, both thinking their own thoughts. Jasmine was once along playing with her orb.
"Put that away Jasmine, it makes me nervous."
Jasmine slipped the orb into the spot in her ear, the one place she could never lose it. Unless it slipped out of course.
Soon they came upon the Office for All Things Magical. And there, through the see-through glass window, sat the ethereal ghosts bow of mud barriers.
"It looks like a pile of muck." Jasmine said.
"It's a mud barrier, in Australia, they use it to make barriers against the wind and rain."
"The what and what?"
"Wind and rain Jasmine, don't you ever pay attention in non-magical studies."
"I made a doppelganger three weeks ago so I could skip it remember."
"So this ethereal ghosts bow of mud barriers-"
Wait wait wait, this narrator needs to take a moment. Where did this name for this ethereal ghosts bow of mud barriers come from? It's far too long. Ethereal, what kind of a word is that? Everything here is ethereal.
"No it's not, ethereal things here are normal to us, so really this mud blob is ethereal to us."
When did this narrator ask the smart girl to speak? The name's gotta change. Any suggestions.
No, those aren't right. How about… Essie? And that wasn't a question so forget that question mark. Let us continue now. And I'm taking away that sigh.
"So Essie is what's messing everything up."
"But it's from Australia, Australia has no magic, how can it do anything?" Jasmine smiled, see she had learnt something.
"It's cancelling it out. It's making us think Australian thoughts."
"It's so not. G'day mate."
"There'll be a kangaroo on your head next.
"There's a kangaroo on my head!"
"Cut that out."
So they devised a cunning plan. Mizzy would walk in, her dad worked there, it was all sweet. She'd make sure no one was looking, and she'd grab Essie, and stuff it in the big duffel bag they made magically appear. Then they'd use a shooting ray, and shoot Essie all the way back to Australia.
"And the final thing is," Jasmine said, "we'll get a new narrator."
Maybe this narrator will just stuff it all up for them. Yet because this narrator is kind, and caring, and kind, and loving, and kind, and nice, and kind…
And promises them lots of ice-cream afterwards…
"They decided they might just keep the narrator."
Everything went smoothly to plan, and now they sat in Mizzy's room, staring at Essie in their hands.
"It's kinda cute, can we keep it?" Jasmine asked.
"Essie's on your head."
"Essie's on my head!" Jasmine flailed around, flapping frantically at her head. And this time, there was more than blue hair up there. "Essie actually is on my head!"
Soon they were once again under control and Essie was sitting in the shooting ray.
"Well goodbye Essie, it's been nice knowing ya." Jasmine felt a tear in her eye. "Do we have to?"
Mizzy didn't reply, only pressed the button and sent Essie flying back off the Australia. Opps, bloody Australia.
"And that's that."
Little did they know, as Essie flew through the air, it disrupted the balance of the conceptions of the sun and the genre thought issues of rain.
"Look the sky, it's cloudy," Jasmine pointed out. See, she knew what clouds were.
"It's cold too. Essie must have done something."
"Oh well, at least there's nothing on my head. Ice-cream?"
They both headed towards the door, glad at their sniping reward. As soon as they turned the handle, a blast of air shot towards them.
"Close it, close it," Jasmine screamed.
Both girls were cold, both girls no longer wanted ice-cream.
And that is the story of the ethereal ghosts bow of mud barriers and how two girls stopped it from turning another world into Australia. It wouldn't be that much of a pity really, everyone likes dessert right? Opps, desert I meant. So, next time you wonder how a sunny day turned into a cloudy one, perhaps there's another Essie out there, just waiting to be discovered. Oh and this is also the story of how the narrator turned things their way, and lived to tell the tale, without having to give out ice-cream. See, the narrator can play their cards too. So the moral of this story is, the next time you want to hear a tale, don't turn to this narrator, because most likely they'll be dolloping out ice-cream to the characters anyway.