I paced my room back and forth. My little brother Collin seemed to be quite concerned for my health since I wouldn't stop, and I wasn't even coming down to dinner. Of course I had midnight snacks the equivalent to two obese men's dinner's but whatever.
I couldn't stop running my fingers through my damn hair.
Collin said it still looked like a disheveled mess, probably more so, and that I should just get over it. But my eight year old brother just didn't understand the romantic woes of an eighteen year old boy, well more so a man, who had just punched his soul mate.
That's right I punched Mina Forde and broke her nose. Blood was all over the place, just like how my heart had shattered and fallen all over the place.
I didn't mean to punch her I swear.
I got pissed at Garret who wouldn't shut up and I tried to punch him. But he dodged and somehow Mina had gotten in the way of my fist...
She didn't fall over or cry like one would expect. She lost balance ever so slightly then put one hand over her face. If anything she looked annoyed, you know like when an idiot in your class won't fucking stop asking questions.
I started to apologize profusely.
She held up a hand, told me to save it, gave Garret her keys, and had her drive her to the hospital. I tried to take her there and do whatever I could to make up for it, but she refused and told me to shut the fuck up and you have the biggest migraine because of it.
For years I've been chasing Mina, and for years she's been shooting me down. It wasn't until last year when she decided to give me a chance to be her friend. But I took whatever I could get. We managed to be friends, albeit with me still flirting with her and her still shooting me down, but friends no less.
I don't think we're friends anymore now that I did bodily harm to her.
I holed myself up in my room all weekend. I couldn't leave until I formulated the most perfect way to apologize to her. I shut my phone off, tossed it under my pillow, and refused all forms human contact minus Collin.
I was so dedicated to my mission that I had pretty much forgotten to shower.
Collin cringed, "Harris you stink."
"I refuse to distract myself from this mission." I said adamantly.
"Can't you think while you're in the shower? You know I do all my best thinking in the shower." He nodded affirmatively.
"You're a genius Collin!"
"Yeah I know." he smiled and his pink tongue stuck out from the gap left by his missing tooth.
The boy believes in the tooth fairy but believes that losing your soul mate isn't a big deal.
What a crock.
"If you need any more of my wisdom I'll be downstairs watching cartoons." he hops off my bed and goes downstairs.
I head into my bathroom and turn on the shower. As I wait for the water to heat up I take the time to examine myself.
I'm glad didn't lose my lean soccer physique after my food binging this weekend. I realize how greasy and gross my shaggy haphazard brown hair is. I might just take two showers to make up for the lost time.
My blue eye look dull and tired, but I guess the bags under my eyes contribute to that.
As the streaming hot water cascades down my skin I relax.
Okay I punched my soul mate, but it was on accident. I'm sure she understands that. She was mad, but she probably cooled down. Except she's freakishly good at holding grudges...but she's logical.
I could buy her favorite flowers, sunflowers, and I could get her coffee...but that's not nearly good enough. I could make a banner and put it at the front entrance...but I don't think "I'm so sorry for punching you Mina. I love you." would earn me brownie points from anyone.
Can you get charged for domestic abuse if you're mentally in a relationship with someone? No...no I guess this would be just abuse...or assault...or battery...but it wasn't on purpose!
Okay let's not think about that...
I could write her a song! But Mina hates to hear me speak so I don't think she'd like to hear me sing much more.
Collin suggested an interpretive dance. That kid is seriously weird.
I could bake her a cake...but she is vegetarian and although I won't be putting bacon in the cake or anything she was also on a gluten free diet the last time I checked so that wouldn't work.
Mina loves art but I can't draw a circle to save my life.
I drove to school the next morning with my hands tightly clutching the wheel.
I had put on my white, black sleeved baseball shirt and skinny jeans that hung low on my hips plus my lucky pair of Vans.
I walked into school and found Garret, the jackass who caused my problem but best friend regardless, and Shiloh the other best friend.
"Harrison where the fuck have you been?" Shiloh said all crazed.
Mina walked by with her best friend. Despite that she looked at me like I committed a capital offense and that she had a small band aid and purple bruise on the bridge of her nose she was still the most breath takingly beautiful woman in the world.
I'm pretty sure I looked like a puppy that just got kicked. I might've even let out a whimper, but hopefully I just imagined that.
"Harrison," Shiloh repeats.
"What?" I look back at him when Mina disappears.
"You are such a fuck up, you know that?"
"Okay I didn't mean to hit her! I was trying to hit this jackass-"
"That's not what he's talking about," Garret said, "And quite frankly now you've won the title of biggest jackass."
I made a confused expression.
"Mina's birthday was this weekend. And okay yeah the punching her is still pretty bad."
"What!" I shout. I'm about ready to have a break down.
I couldn't have possibly forgotten her eighteenth birthday. I bought a calendar just to mark the date. I even set a reminder on my phone- that I turned off for the weekend...I didn't even use the computer so Facebook couldn't stupidly remind me either.
I'm about ready to punch myself in the face.
One of the things Mina secretly "fears" is people forgetting her birthday. She doesn't expect people to make a big deal about it but she at least wants people to remember. She thinks that having your birthday forgotten is like writing someone's existence off. People don't know that about her usually, but that's why she always wishes people happy birthday whether it be on Facebook, twitter, in person, or through a pigeon carrying a message.
One year everyone forgot her birthday and it was the worst thing to her. She doesn't want anyone to feel that insignificant.
And after knowing all that I had gone and forgotten her birthday. I might as well have committed a capital offense.
Hearing that I'm getting the death penalty probably wouldn't hurt my heart as much as this does.
When the second class of the day comes around I try to sit by Mina. She naturally avoids me like the plague, or some diseased animal, and winds up on the other side of the room.
I stare at her longingly and heartbroken. Is it even possible to break your own heart because I think I did?
She focuses on the front of the room while Ms. Lister explains things about the universe, or math, or some dead English guy.
Mina's dark brown hair is down and slightly curled. I can mostly see her hazel eyes and her beautiful cheekbones. I didn't even think cheekbones could be beautiful. Her lips are so beautiful too. I'm not close enough to see the faint freckles under her eyes that I know are there.
She's so skinny but it's all because of her diet. She feels horrible eating a dead animal. I had countered and said that she's just eating all the vegetables that the animals need to survive, since I'm a steadfast carnivore- okay omnivore but I only eat vegetables because I practically inhale my food and don't even notice they're there.
Her collarbones stick out a lot, bit god damn they're sexy. She barely has a chest, but it's enough and perfect for me. Her stomach is obviously flat and sometimes I feel like I'll break her in half. But her ass is big, not Kim Kardashian big, but smaller and better. Too much ass isn't good. She's got the hips to carry them which just means that she'll have an easier time birthing our children...who might not even exist now that she really does hate me. But her legs are shapely, and not twigs like you'd think. They're perfectly toned and seem endless despite that she's not six feet tall.
She's a perfect five foot seven that fits my six foot two frame like a puzzle piece.
"Harrison Brice." Ms. Lister called out.
"Yes?" I manage to pry my attention away from Mina.
"What's the answer?"
She gave me the most judgmental glare, "Maybe next time you'll pay attention to my class instead of whatever you're staring at."
"I highly doubt that..." I mutter under my breath as she turns back to whatever she was talking about.
I tried to catch Mina as class ended but she escaped me. She avoided me all throughout lunch too. The last class of the day also happens to be my last chance to apologize. Because I feel like I don't do it today then it'll be too late.
I don't try to force myself by her this time.
She ends up near the front left while I'm in the middle back.
Which is good because I'm relatively closer, but bad because it's not a good angle for me to stare at her.
But regardless I continue to stare at her like the hopeless, lovesick, and somewhat obsessed freak that I am.
"Harrison?" Mr. Owens called on me.
Even though this is my favorite class I have no clue what's going on right now.
I know my favorite teacher will understand what I'm about to say unlike Ms. Lister.
"I'm sorry Mr. Owens but I haven't been paying attention to anything you've said. He'll I haven't paid attention to anything but Mina since Friday when I accidentally punched her. And I know that sounds bad, but it was Garret's fault and I'd never do anything to hurt her intentionally. Actually Mina hasn't left my mind since the day we met, but that's a little too much information and makes me sound even creepier..."
All throughout my spiel my eyes haven't left Mina. Her cheeks are only colored with the blush she always uses.
I decided to keep speaking and I think Mr. Owens lets me keep blabbering on to find out where this is going, "I'm so in love with you Mina. I even bought your birthday gift five months early because I found the most perfect gift and had to get it. Which brings me to the point that I forgot your birthday. I didn't mean to, really, but I was so consumed with thinking about you and fixing things with you that I ironically forgot about you. Just ask my little brother. And I honestly believe you're my soul mate even though we're eighteen and society thinks that we're too young to be in love or even know what love is,"
Now her face is starting to color naturally. But she still hasn't looked at me.
I continue my insane rant, "Loving you...it's-it's like quidditch! You know?" one of my hands contorted as some attempt to express what I'm feeling, "You're like the beautiful elusive golden snitch. While I'm the Seeker desperately going after you while trying to not get bludgeoned to death or fall off the broom stick I call life."
She sunk lower into her chair looking like she wanted to disappear or that maybe if she pretended that this wasn't happening then it wasn't.
I think she's half embarrassed by my sudden love confession in front of our whole seventh period class, teacher and teacher's assistant. The other half of her though probably hates that she has to deal with this in front of people. She likes to keep her conflicts more private and deals with them one on one.
She finally turns to look at me though with a cross look on her face. I'm pretty sure I look like a desperate baboon right now.
"You're a complete idiot Harrison Brice. You're so conceited that you actually think that confessing your "love" for me in front of an audience is a good idea because there's no way I'd reject you right? You're so self-absorbed that you forgot my birthday because you didn't want to ruin things with me after assaulting my face, regardless if it was on accident, that you ruined things with me anyway,"
Even red faced, and yelling at me with a broken nose she's absolutely perfect. I have to admit that her words hurt though. But she's hurt me so many times that I'm almost numb to it, almost.
She continued, "I can't believe that you have the nerve to say those things to me and expect things to somehow get better. I never liked you in the first place and you expect me to magically like you after treating me like this? That's absolutely ridiculous."
She stopped talking and just looked at me. I held her gaze. The room was silent and it felt like everyone stopped breathing.
After memorizing every bit of Mina that I could I finally nodded, "Okay. I apologize for being such a burden. I honestly have no intention of saying that to make you feeling guilty or to be a smart ass."
She gives me a look and it takes her a moment to reply, "You can't do that Harrison. Now I do feel guilty. I feel like a bitch, but I shouldn't even feel that way because I didn't do anything wrong."
"You didn't." I agree.
She lets out a frustrated noise, "This is ridiculous...all because you think you're in love with me."
Now that struck a chord, "You think that I "think" that I'm in love with you?" I added air quotes for emphasis and dramatically stood up.
"I do. You can't-"
"If you think that I'm not honestly, a hundred percent in love with you then you should feel like a god damn bitch. I love you. More than anything and I'd do and give up anything for you. I'd even give up being with you if it means that you'll be happy. I'd suffer all my life if it meant that you wouldn't have to suffer a day in your life. Don't tell me that I can't be in love with you. You and everyone else know for a fact that I'm in love with you. You're a bitch. You're a bitch and you're an even bigger bitch for trying to pretend that my feelings don't exist. You treat animals better than me. But even though you're a bitch who treats me like shit I still love you. I love everything about you, even all the bad and annoying things. So don't you dare tell me how I feel."
I finished my rant almost a bit winded. I'm pretty sure some veins popped out too. I dramatically grab my shit and head for the door.
Naturally I returned after class because Mr. Owens always makes kids who curse and cause scenes in his class to stay after. And I felt too worked up to go anywhere else.
I was still fuming when I came back into the almost empty class room. Mina was nowhere in sight. I wanted to find her and smother her with love for being so mean, but I was also still pissed off. She may be my soul mate but it doesn't mean that I won't get mad at her from time to time.
Except, ugh, she's right. She didn't do anything wrong. That was all me. I feel like I just got hit by a bludger or possibly even a Whomping Willow. I have to admit though that comparing my love to quidditch was rather witty of me.
"I see you've returned." Mr. Owens said as he typed on his computer.
"Yeah," I planted myself down in front of his desk.
"I wasn't going to make you stay after for that huge scene you made. But...it was quite a scene."
I sigh, "Yeah it was. I just couldn't help it. I had to fix things somehow, but Mina was right I just made it worse."
"Do you want to hear some advice?" the twenty eight- thirty year old golf coach looked at me finally.
He refuses to tell us his real age even though he can't be more than thirty two. He can be such a diva. More than his wife, the head cheerleading coach who is actually way nicer than him and a lot less sassy. But regardless he somehow worked his way to the spot of my favorite teacher.
"You'll give me advice and a lecture-speech anyway."
He chucked, "You're right."
I motion for him to go on.
"Mrs. Owens and I are high school sweethearts as you know. We met years ago way before your time back in middle school. We started dating then stopped for a year. We got back together and haven't broken up since. She's the light of my life and my best friend."
"She broke your heart didn't she?" I joked.
He shrugged noncommittally.
"Way to be ominous...but okay what was the point of that?"
"When you find someone that you're meant to be with, or your soul mate as you put it, you'll know it in your bones. You'll have your rough patches but in the end everything will come together. I'm pretty sure that since you and Mina met it's been a rough patch. But remember that when you're at your lowest point there's nowhere else but up. I think your scene today was the low point in your relationship."
I hate how his seemingly pointless Yoda rants always end up useful.
"We're not in a relationship Mr. O. I mean in my head we are but in the real world it's a one-sided love."
"You don't have to be dating to be in a relationship," he shrugged, "And I think she cares about you more than you think."
I decided to stay with Mr. Owens until he had to leave. He had to help kids, who needed it, and kids were retaking and correcting things but I just sat there. I needed to be in the presence of a calm logical person who could help me.
I wonder what I'll do after graduation. I could call up Mr. Owens but I don't think he'd respond once I'm out in the real world.
I sighed and decided to go home.
Right when I stand up Mina walked throughout the door. She looked both angry and relieved.
I just melted and felt happy that she didn't pretend that I didn't exist.
I wanted to wrap her up in my arms like a present.
"You're an absolute idiot." she frowned at me.
I was just thankful that she was still speaking to me.
"Like, I don't know anyone who fucks things up as much as you do."
I noticed that she was wearing her favorite pair of ripped jeans. Okay staring isn't a good thing to be doing right now. Speaking would be a lot better.
I nodded like an idiot, "I know."
God my answer are just so brilliant.
"But," she sighed and closed her eyes like she couldn't believe that she was about to do this, "But I love you."
It took everything in me to not run over and grab her.
"Really? Am I hearing this correctly? Did I suddenly die-"
"Stop you idiot. I do love you. I know I act like don't, but you're always flirting with people so I never thought you were serious. I figured that not being with you was better than being hurt by you. But I guess after you yelled how you really felt in class I figured that you actually were being serious." her expression softened.
"Mina," I walked over to her this time and held her wonderfully amazing face in my hands, "What is construed as flirting, is me honestly telling you how I feel and think about you. I know for a fact that we're soul mates. It seems stupid because we're so younger but it's just that we were lucky enough to meet each other so early on in life."
She pulls me down for a kiss. Her lips move with mine perfectly.
Kissing Mina is better than anything else in the world. I'm pretty sure I'd chose kissing Mina over winning the lottery any day.
Her arms wrap around my neck and mine hold her waist.
I just had to let out a content sigh.
This kiss literally made my toes curl.
She pulls away and I press my forehead to her's.
"So I guess you won your stupid quidditch match."
"A hundred points for Gryffindor." I smiled
She shook her head and gave me another kiss.
A/n: I'm sure my somewhat nerdy Harry Potter references are just absolutely delightful. I miss being witty…and I miss writing oneshots.