The Drawbacks of Imaginary Boyfriends

My name is Emily,

Let me tell you a tale

Of my lovelife,

Which is a spectacular fail.

It started last month,

When, out of the blue,

Two friends said they'd been dating

And none of us knew!

Then I looked around

At the others at school,

And saw how many had boyfriends

Because apparently it's cool.

I thought, "Teenage romance

Can never last!"

But they're all still together

Though months have passed.

I became rather sad;

I felt really glum.

Was I the only one incapable

Of having romantic fun?

Then it came to me,

A brilliant idea!

I knew from that moment on,

I'd have nothing to fear.

I'd just invent a boy,

What could go wrong?

And with my imaginary love,

I'd not be lonely for long.

So I set to work,

It took a very long time

To get my boy looking

Handsome and fine.

My hands were aching

From scribbling so fast,

But the love stories were done,

Completed at last!

So here's the first drawback

Of imaginary boys:

They make you treat stories

Like old broken toys.

I neglected my work,

My writing suffered no end.

But I still had my boy,

And was content to pretend.

But his lack of a body

Drove me 'round the bend,

I couldn't kiss him or hug him,

Or introduce my friends.

Eventually I realised

That I should let the boy go.

But the rejection process

Was painful and slow.

I scrapped all our stories,

Chased him out of my mind,

And cleaned up the mess

That he'd left behind.

I went back to writing,

As it was the one thing that saved me,

When I dumped my boyfriend

And 'I' replaced 'we'.

So now I'm content

With being alone,

Writing stories about the murder

Of my boy by Al Capone.


A/N: Unfortunately this is a true poem. Please tell me I am not the only one in this situation :S Anyway, I'm not sure about the last line-it seems kind of rushed, so I'll probably come back an change it later. Thanks for reading! :D