Batman Is Exotic. Copyright © 2012. All rights reserved.
This story was inspired by the song Find A Way by Safetysuit.
A/N: Prologues are always whatever, it's just to start up the story. So yeah kind of boring, it gets better.
The Panty Liner Club
"Hold on, what's the rush,"
When I received my first kiss I was sitting atop a hill in a park, the orange rays of a setting sun flickered against our tan complexions, the sounds of birds chirping around us made the setting serene, and the ants crawling over our forgotten picnic didn't bother me in the least for I was about to experience a kiss for the first time. The guy, Dave I believe his name was, was just as nervous as I was and when he finally puckered his pink lips I all but rammed my own into his. It wasn't exactly what I thought it'd be and when our small lips parted we wiped them clean as if ridding of one another's germs. Before either of us could comment on the failed attempt of a kiss, my brother flew out of nowhere - like a true ninja in the night time - and karate kicked him in the face.
If I were to guess how far Dave flew I'd say about a foot and when he finally pushed himself off the ground two of his front teeth were missing. They laid on the grass like fallen soldiers, whilst my brother stood over them proudly snickering at his work. Okay, I'll admit to exaggerating a bit. Dave and I were seven and both those teeth had been loose, but stillcould my brother have been anymore of a bully? Not only had he been two years older than the two of us, but he was already abnormally strong and Dave definitely hadn't deserved the terrible kick in the face. He walked around with a busted lip for two weeks afterwards and his mother certainly didn't arrange anymore play dates between the two of us. To this day Bruce, my brother, says that we shouldn't have been kissing anyways and he got what was coming to him.
If you haven't figured this out yet or least began putting the pieces together about Bruce, I'll just go ahead and inform you of this. Bruce is the most overprotective brother on the surface of this planet. I believe he has some type of psycho vow to himself that he'll make sure I'll stay a virgin forever. As much as I appreciate my brother's form of looking out for me I can't help but be annoyed with his actions.
I should be allowed to experience life and make mistakes with guys, how else am I supposed to grow? Or have children for the matter?
I should be able to go on dates and guys should be able to ask me on them without worrying that Bruce will corner them in someone's alley and practically beat them to death; trust me I don't put this past him. There was this one time a guy asked me out and somehow ended up with a broken index finger. Mind me, I had still been in middle school which means that Bruce was in high school already. Somehow someway it got back to Bruce that he asked me and of course he decided to have a 'talk' with this boy, which landed him with a mysterious broken finger and me no date to the movies. Honestly, I don't think that boy so much as blinked in my direction after that incident.
Bruce probably went a little overboard with the whole finger breaking thing, but I have reason to believe it was due to his entrance into the 10th grade. On my 8th grade year he was entering not only the 10th grade but also the very exclusive Panty Liner Club; which consisted of all the jocks and the few gifted guys who happened to be popular among the female population and well practiced with their anatomy.
Now before I even get into what the purpose of this asinine club is I'd like to point out how ludicrous the name of it is. I mean Panty Liner Club? I wonder if those guys even knew what panty liners were because I can guarantee no one in their right mind would want to be such a thing.
Anyways the point of this exclusive group of hotties is to not only date any girl that looks decent but to 'take them down' in a way that will have every girl's dad posted with a shot gun ready to shoot the members of said club. From what my brother tells me each girl has a certain ranking on a scale 1-10 and that at the end of the year they see who has messed with the most girls. Ranking matters because if you've messed with more girls of high ranking then one of the other guys it doesn't matter if he has more girls on his list than you, you still win. Once the lists are sorted and the winner is chosen, the winner receives a hefty amount of money as an award. I mean it really isn't about the money; it's about them having fun screwing a bunch of girls and then getting paid for it.
You see, once my brother discovered that club existed he bumped his over protectiveness up about two notches. He went front knocking out loose teeth to breaking fingers.
Luckily, my brother didn't have to worry about detouring my many suiters because I didn't exactly get much attention from males.
"For the last time, hold your head up straight!" My best-friend yelled; successfully breaking me out of my trip down memory lane and after a very painful yank from the comb in her hand I didn't see myself returning.
"I am holding it up straight." I snapped whilst crossing my slender arms across my chest.
"What are you doing to her?" Bruce asked, looking up from the movie he was watching towards us.
"I'm straightening her hair." She answered and gave him a warning glare, which he ignored.
He scrunched up his nose before replying, "New clothes? AND a new hair style? If I didn't know any better I'd say you're giving my little sister a make-over."
"If it makes you feel better," I began, "This wasn't my idea."
"Stop kissing ass Brooke," She ordered and lightly slapped my arm with the comb, "Bruce just needs to except the fact that some guys going to 'violate' your innocence some day. He can't make you walk around looking like a nun all your life."
"The hell I can't!" Bruce snapped angrily, looking as if he were ready to snatch the flat iron away from her and chuck it out the window.
"Cece, don't anger him, he'll come and ruin the whole thing. You haven't even started my make-up. Do that and then upset him." I ordered lightly.
"So you are going along with this!" Bruce accused and I shook my head.
"I went along with the buying of new clothes and the adding of a little eyeliner and lip gloss but I didn't want oww," I paused to wrench away from Cece who was still attempting to get a knot out of my hair; she just rolled her eyes at my reaction, "For her to straighten my hair. I love my so called 'poodle curls'."
"Poodle curls who the hell calls them that?" My brother asked, sounding offended as one of his large hands touched his much shorter version of my hair; his was cut so short that it didn't even reach his ears. It reminded me of Nick Jonas' hair. My hair on the other hand, had the same exact poofy curls but they went a little pass my shoulders. I'll admit to it being a little unruly, but I loved my hair.
"I call them poodle curls." CeCe said proudly and my brother smirked at this.
"Well we both know you love my hair, you told me that last night when you were," He began but before he could continue I started singing loudly and covering my ears.
"Lalalalala I don't wanna hear about the sex you guys have lalala gross lalalaa gross lalala shut the hell up lalalala-" I was cut off abruptly when Cece smacked her hand over my mouth.
"We get it." She said. CeCe and my brother have been dating since his eleventh grade year, which means about two years or a year and a half; something like that. Honestly I thought he'd never settle down with one girl especially not after telling me about that ridiculous club he joined, but Cece and him just fit together. I believe they're in love, they act like it. When he first brought the blonde beauty around I was shocked, he never brought girls around. But Cece proved to be not just any girl, but this wonderful loving human being and before you knew it we were the best of friends. She'd been trying for a while to get me out of my shell and my make-over was her biggest break through.
"Well anyways," Bruce began whilst glaring at his girl-friend, "I think my sister looks fine the way she is."
CeCe groaned before responding, "No one said we were trying to turn her into Paris Hilton or anything, we're just straightening her hair and dressing her up a little bit. Girls do that type of stuff. They don't just grab a dirty t-shirt off the ground and say 'fuck it' while they rock their bed hair,"
"Hey! I don't do that!" I interjected.
"I don't do that and I'm a guy!" Bruce interjected at the same time as me and CeCe gave us blank looks.
"Bruce you had that shirt on two days ago and I know it hasn't been washed. That ketchup stain didn't magically appear," She began whilst shaking her head at him then she turned her attention towards me, "Once you wore a pair of Bruce's basketball shorts twice in one week."
"Eww after I wore them?" Bruce asked looking disgusted and I blanched at the claim, my face expression just as disgusted as his.
"No way, you dirty scoundrel, If you must know I stole them and washed them before I wore them." I countered.
"The stain wouldn't come out, my shirts clean." Bruce randomly said. He was jumping subjects; something he often did in the mist of conversation.
"Stop lying Bruce." CeCe deadpanned.
"Well I'm going to wrestling practice this morning, so yeah duh, that's why I wore this shirt!" My brother argued and even had the audacity to look triumphant.
"And I'm expected to believe that you have an extra outfit just hanging out in your locker. Do I look stupid? I've been dating you for over a year now." CeCe giggle and then started combing my hair once again.
I felt good about myself. I always felt pretty good about myself, but this was the first time I felt good about my appearance. Being that I actually looked nice. I wasn't one of those girls who was so pretty whenever she walked by someone they had to take a second glance at her all the while thinking 'damn she's pretty'. I was average, so boringly average. My hair color was brown as was my eye color and although I was attractive; I just wasn't the 'take a second look' type attractive. My eyes were a little bigger than normal, my nose kind of pointy, and my lips - oh how I adore their bow shape - were average sized. I was average height and average weight. To sum this all up I am boring to look at. Sure, my hair is interesting, but that's about it. So, on a day when I look even slightly above average I feel good about myself.
When I stepped outside of CeCe's car, my head was held high, and I even had a small strut in my step. I was confident, that was for sure. I was also in very good spirits so when a girl walked by me, eyeing me with an unreadable expression I smiled at her and even said hi. I never said hi to strangers!
"Slut," She grumbled angrily before glaring at me and walking off. My smile slowly lowered as my mind mulled over her words. She had called me a slut! How freaking unbelievable! A girl can't even be confident or show a hint of skin without being labeled a slut.
Sure the shorts I was wearing were giving me an undesirable crotch wedgie.
Sure had my shorts ridden any higher I would of been escorted off the school premises by administration for 'breaking the dress code'.
BUT my boobs were covered and my upper body wasn't even all that revealed! There were girls walking around much more exposed than I was, especially being that it was about 80 degrees outside.
CeCe finally stepped out of the car and when she saw my mouth hanging open she raised her eyebrows at me.
"I know I'm hot, but if you leave your mouth open any longer a fly might go in there." She joked lightly.
I just chuckled at what she said, deciding that I wasn't going to let that girl ruin my day. It was supposed to be a good day for me and I refused to allow some ignorant, judgmental, more than likely jealous girl ruin it for me.
Nothing and no one was going to ruin my day, especially not when it just started.
"Uhh, Brooke," CeCe began, her eyes wide as she eyed me.
"What?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"Are you on your...?" She asked. I blinked at her, contemplating on the relevance of her question.
"On my what?" I questioned her back, if it's even possible my eyebrows furrowed more.
"Caw, caw, caw. Wish wish wish," She retorted whilst making wild hand movements to show what she meant.
"Stop looking at me like that," She began when she noticed my wide eyed expression, "I'm not crazy. Those are my mother nature noises."
"I thought you were having a seizure," I responded jokingly after releasing a pretend sigh of relief.
She ignored my statement and rolled her eyes, "So are you?"
"Am I?" I asked in confusion and she groaned.
"Are you on your..ya' know. Mother nature, time of the month, your dot of thy month." She explained and waved her arms about crazily. I finally realized what she was saying and looked down.
"Oh god why'd you tell me to wear these stupid crotch wedgie giving white shorts!" I demanded.
"You never told me you were on your dot," She countered and I groaned.
I guess there was something that could ruin my day.
"I am not staying here another hour!" I yelled in disbelief. Bruce covered his ears and glared at me.
"Could you be any louder?" He asked, clearly annoyed.
"Well I've been walking around all day with your damn sweater wrapped around my waist looking like an idiot, so yes actually I can." I snapped at him, but before he could respond one of his wrestling buddies made his way towards us. His long hair grazing his beefy neck and his nose clearly stuck in the air. Anyone could tell that he thought he was hot shit. Even though he really looked like a buffed up turd.
"Sup Bruce the Brute, I know you're gonna win today's match man." He greeted him sounding excited about my brothers scheduled match. So far he was undefeated and the wrestling season was almost over, in the world of sports this was more than a small accomplishment. The many recruiters my brother had riding his ass were proof of that.
I mean really what the hell were they recruiting him to do? Have a future in wearing ass tight spandex.
"Yeah," Bruce agreed, but by then his friend had already dazed off. Clearly attempting to look sexy to the group of girls that were walking by us he ran his large fingers through his hair, swished it to the side; and parted his lips to let out a breath of air. I thought he looked stupid, but the group of girls walking by all giggled and swooned at him; then when they thought they were a safe distance away started arguing about who he was looking at. I couldn't help by roll my eyes.
"But, yeah this guy should be easy to beat." My brother finished and I only then realized he had been talking that whole time.
"Anyways," I butt in before his friend could respond with something idiotic, "You need to take me home, like now."
"No because I need to get to practice...like now." Bruce retorted and I groaned in response.
"I'm on my caw caw caw, wish wish wish," I informed him and he only looked confused.
"Are you retarded?" His friend asked and I gave him my best attempt at a death glare.
"Are you on steroids?" I countered and he gaped in shock.
"No." He snapped and I smirked.
"Well there's your answer buffy." I replied and then turned my attention back towards my brother.
"What the hell are you getting on about?"Bruce questioned, looking genuinely confused.
"CeCe says those are her mother nature noises." I said as if that would explain it all. Clearly Bruce wasn't understanding my hints and I wasn't so bold as to say I was on my period in front of his friend.
Bruce just shrugged in response, "Look practice starts now and then I have a match, so get yourself something to eat we'll be here a while." He said, then patted my head before heading off with his buff conceited friend. I would ask CeCe to drive me home, but she was a cheerleader and had to cheer for Bruce at his match, well not only him but the rest of the wrestlers, along with her cheer squad.
I silently fumed and stormed down the hallway. I had been called a slut, started my period 'not-so-conveniently-', wore Bruce's sweater like a skirt the whole day, and then I was called retarded by some over grown turd! To top it all off I was expected to stay another two to three hours at the school and my 'just-in-case' pad stash was running low. Now what was I expected to do when they ran out?
I was almost to the bathroom when I accidentally slammed into another person that was walking in the hallway. Normally I would have apologized but since being nice had gotten me nowhere earlier in the day, instead I got called a slut, I wasn't actually in the mood to be kind to anyone.
I just pushed pass the person and didn't even turn around to acknowledge what I had done.
That must not have went to well with the person because suddenly a large hand wrapped around my wrist and hindered me from walking.
I growled angrily and turned to face the bold someone who decided they were going to stop me while I was rampaging down the hallway. Now upon taking in this man's face, I nearly wanted to apologize for my behavior but recalling why I had been storming down the hallway in the first place I wrenched my arm away from him.
Sure he was lean and exceptionally tall, perhaps not above six feet but just meeting it.
Sure his face was chiseled and his jaw had a slight amount of stubble on it. What guy in high school had sexy stubble?
Sure he had nice auburn hair and light brown eyes.
Sure he was lean and probably played some type of sport.
BUT I was angry and he was - sadly for him - the first person in range to take my anger out on.
"Don't grab me." I hissed, he raised his eyebrows at this.
"You're the one one who came charging down the hallway not looking at where you were going. If you hadn't ran into me and not apologized, I surely wouldn't have grabbed you." He snapped, his eyes narrowed at me.
"Well you're not getting an apology, so suck it up." I responded, he blanched at this.
"Do you know who I am?" He asked; I could detect the utter disbelief and anger in his voice.
"No and I really could care less." Was my quick reply, did this guy really want to keep talking to me? Clearly I was being a bitch and wasn't going to suddenly apologize to him.
"I'm Oli Fox!" He growled at me.
"Oli-really don't give a fuck." I said and then turned around to continue towards the bathroom. He didn't let me get far though, he quickly jumped in front of me, his arms crossed across his chest and a smirk placed on his handsome face.
"I get it," He began but paused to let out a chuckle, "You did this to get my attention. Wouldn't be the first time a girl's went out of her way."
I raised my eyebrows at his cockiness and snorted. I pushed him out of my way and then continued what I was doing, but once again he jumped in front of me.
"You play a good act, but you're pretty so I'll play along. What do you want a kiss? A date? A song written to you? Anything you want baby and I'll give it to you. I like you." He offered and I couldn't help but laugh at him.
"Shove off 'cause I really need to change my pad." I said and then once I realized that I basically told him I was on my period I scurried down the hall in embarrassment.
What was the world coming to?
A/N: This has been on my mind. Dear Moron is coming to an end soon, so I wanted to start something new up. Yes I'm still going to write the sequel to that. Anyways! Review if you like this!