The Checkbook

Oh, my dreaded enemy, my worse foe, my dearest adversary…How I hate you. You checkbook, you don't like me, do you? You are never around when I need you and you always let me down.

First your taunt me with the riches and glory, that wonderful shiny new plastic card that came with you. Then you tease me with pretty printed slips of paper that has my name prudently in the upper left hand corner…Like I was a diplomat or some VIP.

Well, if I'm a VIP…You have made me a poor VIP. How dare you checkbook? How dare you actually cash those checks that I wrote and drain my account. Your almost as bad as that pretty little card they sent with you in that very official looking envelope.

I remember it well, the day I got you and that pretty card that glittered. That security sticker on the front that told me to dial a number and get a PIN so no one could steal money from my account. You never told me that the person stealing would be me.

I hate you checkbook. How you never seem to reconcile with my bank statement and then I hate how you never clear my account in time. I hate you checkbook, our love affair is over, were done!

I am dumping you checkbook and I'm going to find a new love. One that loves me back and doesn't send my wealth away. I'm finding a new love, one that can never be replaced…his name is Chocolate.