25th April 2011,

Dear Jane,

Skinniness is something that everyone is born with the ability of achieving but many choose not to follow that path. I didn't at first, when I was 13 and first got in to modelling I weighed a shocking 8st 9lbs. I felt disgusting and fat, so I chose to find that other path to follow, the path to skinniness, attractiveness and happiness.

I am yet to achieve skinniness, my dream weight would be 4st 5, and right now I am only down to 6st and I feel like such a failure for not being where I want to be.

Plenty of times all I want to do is pig out and eat, very much like you said you felt like in your email, though I must tell you to stay strong and have control. You cannot let the food beat you, you must win. More and more of the percentage of the population are becoming overweight, even obese, they like almost everyone around you is allowing all the food to boss them around, they are weak and you do not want to be like them. If you keep letting food rule your life chances are you will become exactly like everyone else. It takes a unique kind of person to do the things that I do.

I have spent days, weeks and even months feeling as if my stomach was empty and until all the fat has gone that is how I will continue feeling, because this is the road that must be taken to look good, this is the sacrifice that we must make for allowing ourselves to get so fat in the first place. In my opinion the pain is nothing like the emotions I feel when I look into the mirror and see the beast I once was.

I believe you can do it, all you need to do is put your heart too it. I will help you along the way if you wish. I have found it so much easier to have someone to help me on my journey, someone who will tell me the truth and only people like us actually tell the truth. Everyone else allows themselves to be blinded with food, they see people who aren't covered completely in bulging fat as skinny, but the truth is don't let them trick you into thinking your skinny, because the truth is neither of us are.

Stay strong,

Alice x