51 Nights

It was loud and raining;

The air was cool and

My feet and the pavement were wet.

.

But all I could think of

Was how I wished he was you

And why can't I have you yet?

.

What even is this?

I'm not sure I know

Anything at all anymore.

.

All I want is to talk but my tongue doesn't move.

I can't breathe your name,

And my heart is sore.

.

I swallow the words,

Like candyfloss but

You never look once at me.

.

They tell me you did -

That you looked when I didn't,

But there's no evidence I can see.

.

This is broken, not whole;

I'm built on staggering hope and

Staccato lines like a heartbeat.

.

I frown as I smile

And try to form an answer;

Where dreams and my logic meet.

.

There's a word unbidden,

It can't pass my lips.

Hold it back and don't think it out loud.

.

Don't even dream it,

Or see it,

As a whisper in a black ink crowd.

.

Just add another day

To the thousands before -

Countless like the stars above.

.

Don't dwell too long

Don't think too hard

Don't slip up and call it love.

It seems I'm back to refusing a proper rhythm again… I dunno, this is just sort of something that tapped its way out. :)