It's weird how every time I properly talk to you, I start either tearing up or thinking about the world in a different way.
You somehow let me see the world from a different perspective and I don't really know how this really happens. Everything has changed ever since I met you and my world has really turned upside down because of you, whether you know it or not. You really don't notice or realize the affect you have over me... I can tell. You act as if it's the most natural in the world.
And as much as I hate to admit it, you have helped shaped the person I am slowly becoming.
You're one of the few people who I take opinions of, even if I don't know you that well, because I know you know what you're talking about. Your words effect me more than anything. Sometimes, you just say things that make me think of things, and then it puts me in a horrible mood, and the next thing you know, my eyes start tearing up and down comes the tears. I just don't get you sometimes…
You never fail to surprise me. I'm not kidding. Every single time I'm with you, something happens.
When you're around others, you're so mean to me… but when we're all alone, you're so surprisingly nice and generous.
I cannot emphasize how much I love those moments where we are friendly like that and can actually get along. I love those times when I can actually start a conversation with you without yelling at you for making some remark.
It's not that I want to be more than friends, I just want us to be friends like this, forever. I don't know why I feel awkward being around you, but I wish this feeling would just go away because I want to treat you like a normal friend. I really do.
However, I can't seem to treat you like a normal friend when every single time we talk, we either fight, or something awkward happens between us. I don't like this feeling but I can't get rid of it since there's a whole bunch of different innuendos floating around involving us.
Every single time I talk to you, I learn more things about you whether I know it or not. It's all a surprise, and I guess the thing is, I never expect it either. I want to know more about you and become closer to you… but the problem is, I seem to find it super weird to talk to you. It's a good thing our friendship is unique. We are so close yet we don't even know much about each other. Because everyone teases us about being a couple and liking one another, things are never really the same with us as between other friends. I don't know if it's just me, or if you feel this too, but I don't know what to do.
I can never really treat you as a friend because of this. We're both stubborn and we fail to admit what's on our mind most of the time, which makes it hard for us to agree on basically anything.
We both have different points and views in life so we never really can have a proper conversation without arguing or disagreeing with one another. Sometimes, when I really try, it's those moments with you that I cherish the most. I don't know, I can't help but smile every time your name is mentioned or every time I remember something. I start smiling like an idiot and I really hope that someday, we can be come closer friends without that feeling of awkwardness around us.
That's all I ever wanted, but seriously, is it just too much to ask?