I know it's been forever since I've updated this. Please forgive me.

Dear human race,

Fish don't make noises. We don't say glub glub, because that would be stupid. Oh, and do you all know how offensive it is when you tell people that they have the attention span of a goldfish? We aren't that bad! I mean maybe, fish aren't really stupid. Maybe we're simply waiting patiently for our intelligence to be known. We fish may seem like we don't pay much attention, but in reality we are going to take over the world pretty soon. Have a nice day. I'm going to go for a swim now.

Sincerely,

the fish.