My Beloved Monte Carlo

My beloved Monte Carlo;

Oh, how you make me cry. You've got me seeing green but not with envy. Simply green with rust spots bubbling up from beneath your paint. You're so old, a senior citizen in vehicle years.

Oh, my beloved car, how I ache whenever I take you to the gas station and watch that little number go up and up on the pump. How much it hurts to see you pulled apart into pieces at the mechanics but not nearly as much as that bill to put you back together.

My beloved, if only I could figure out how to set your clock and that find a good radio station…They all seemed to have disappeared over the years. I really do admire how you hold me tight, strapped to that seat, can barely breathe when I'm in your clutches.

My sweet, sweet car…How I wish your cup holder actually worked along with your air conditioner…Especially in summer when you're the hottest thing on the block. You're so hot you make ice cream melt by just sitting on you.

My beloved car, what would do without you? My bicycle and I really don't get along that well. That relationship takes much more work, sweat, tears and more sweat. But, bicycle is much cheaper to feed.

My beloved, why couldn't you consume something cheaper, like water? You're special diet of oil and lubricants make me wonder if I am an operator of a vehicle or a porno film?

You take so much to maintain. You suck gas, require frequent changing and you're always in need of a bath. If you're not attracting kamikaze bugs then it's usually dirt or snow. And something you can be a bit salty around the edges too.

Oh, I love my car…Especially when you work. I love taking you out, but your not a cheap date. And I know you are very popular with other cars, for they always beeping at you. Honking to get your attention. Sometimes squealing too. I love you my dearest Monte Carlo, for it weren't for you me and Mr. Bicycle would be having a really serious relationship and he's so rough on me. He's a real pain in the rear.

Please Monte Carlo, I beg of you…Don't ever die on me. For if you do die on me, I will have to find a new beloved, Mr. Mustang. I hear he's single.