The Psychiatrist II
Dr. Pen: Ollie! Hey, we're not open yet.
Ollie: (drunk) I see, hehe.
Dr. Pen: Are you drunk?
Dr. Pen: Are you taking drugs?
Dr. Pen: Did Dr. Pan do this to you?
Ollie: He solved my problems! Not youu!
Dr. Pen: So it's legally his fault that you're addicted. Phew.
Ollie: I'm not addicted! It just happens that I like drugs.
Dr. Pen: You know, maybe I should send you to a rehab center.
Ollie: Then I'm telling!
Dr. Pen: On who?
Ollie: On Dr. Pan!
Dr. Pen: Well, go on. Less competition for me. Here's the apllication. I filled it in yesterday in my free time. (gives him a filled paper)
Dr. Pen: Right, I could be a fortuneteller. Then I could get rid of my job...
Ollie: (still drunk) Dr. Pen?
Dr. Pen: Yes?
Ollie: (stupidly) I love you.
Dr. Pen turns on lights. Ollie leaves the room quickly while screaming "The Light Bulb"!
Dr. Pen: (shouting, ignoring the screaming Ollie) We're open!
Dr. Pen: Hey. 3 Where's the problem?
Mary: Do you have a black pen I can borrow?
Dr. Pen: (disappointed) Yeah sure. (gives Mary a pen) Nice to see you.
Mary: By the way I have a friend, who seems like... she really like you...
Dr. Pen: Continue. (sits up)
Mary: She thinks she's in love.
Dr. Pen: ...!
Mary: That person is...
Dr. Pen: Y-
Mary: Hermann's sister.
Dr. Pen: (smile fades away) Tell her, I'm taken.
Mary: You are?
Dr. Pen: Can you go now?
Mary: I thought you were single, because I'd have asked you out if you declined Hermann's sister
Dr. Pen: Wait, Mary!
Dr. Pen: I hate my life.
Bob: Me too! Soulmates?
Dr. Pen: No. By the way you still have to pay me for yesterday.
Bob: I won't pay you for your bad job.
Dr. Pen: Bad? I did cheer you up.
Bob: After several insults.
Dr. Pen: So tell me, how is it going?
Bob: I got Dr. Pan's job.
Dr. Pen: When?
Bob: Just now, as he walked out the building with police men behind him, the secretary Mary gave me his job AND asked me out!
Dr. Pen: (annoyed) And why are you hating your life?
Bob: Because firstly, I never wanted to become a psychiatrist, because it sucks to have to listen to other people's complains all the time. Secondly, I'm so gay.
Dr. Pen: Ah. What are you going to do now?
Bob: That's why I came here.
Dr. Pen: To get more advice?
Bob: No, to try to kick you out and make this a gay club.
Dr. Pen: You can't kick me out.
Bob: I've already called the government. It's too late.
Dr. Pen: Since when did you become such a tough guy?
Bob: Since MY PSYCHIATRIST called me a pussy. And now I seek harsh revenge.
Dr. Pen: Okay...?
Bob: See you in jail.
Dr. Pen: You going to jail?
Bob: When the police find out that I killed Hermann.
Dr. Pen: You killed him, because he called you a pussy?
Bob: Actually, I just knocked him unconscious and put him into a trash bag, hit him several times with a baseball bat and then threw him into the river. (grinning) you'll be next. I'll kill you in jail.
Dr. Pen: ...
Bob: So, see ya!
Norma: Hello, Doctor Pen.
Dr. Pen: (pale and tired) yes?
Norma: I think I can't get over the death of my parents. I get nightmares every night.
Dr. Pen: Yes?
Norma: In them they are next to me and try to say something important.
Dr. Pen: Which is?
Norma: I think they try to say that they... They love me!
Dr. Pen: So?
Norma: They tried to reassure me that everything is going to be okay, even though they are not here with me anymore!
Dr. Pen: This means?
Norma: That's not a nightmare after all! You saved me doctor! Thank you so much! (hugs him)
Dr. Pen: You're welcome.
Dr. Pen: That was easy. I should have done this centuries ago!
Dr. Pen: Mary.
Mary: Bob just bought the whole building. It turned out he was a secret spy. He discovered our secret weapons factory-
Dr. Pen: We have what?
Mary: You did not know the whole time then...
Dr. Pen: This is too much! I'm leaving!
Mary: To become?
Dr. Pen: (hesitates) A fortune teller.
Mary: Fortune Teller?
Dr. Pen: Yes, a fortune teller!
Dr. Pen leaves. Mary pulls off her mask to reveal herself as Dr. Pan.
Dr. Pan: Less suspicion. Now, now, let's return to our secret drugs business, shall we? (puts index finger on lips, smiles)