NEW STORY MY RAINBOW UNICORNS! Well technically this story is older than the other one I've got going. Quite a bit older but I decided to post it on here. I've actually posted this story on here before but I took it down but here it is! ENJOY!
I woke up in a strange room. The bright florescent lights disorient me. I blink a few times and then I sat up to look around. My heart was beating abnormally fast but my breathing wasn't labored and the only thing covering my naked body was a thin white sheet, very paper like. The hospitals were so cheap they didn't give me a real blanket. They told me I was supposed to feel different, the told me I was supposed to feel happy, better even. But I didn't. I felt exactly the same. I mean, besides the fact that it feels like my hearts about to explode out of my chest. The heart monitor when up and started to beep obnoxiously. Oh god. A few nurses came running in but stopped when they saw me awake.
The one nurse had brown short curly hair that was tied back and had lines on her face. Probably from stressing out about her three kids she has at home that she has to feed by herself. The second nurse was younger, fresh from college, and eager to work. Her straight blond hair was half tied back, like she did it quickly to get it out of her face.
The one with the brown hair whispered something to the blond one and the blond one walked away. The brown haired women stood in the doorway for a second and then walked into the room. She moved with caution, like I was time bomb, about to go off. But I sat silent and still, just watching her careful movements.
"Alana, how to do you feel?" She asked. I could tell her words were chosen carefully.
"I feel," I paused looking for the word. "Alive." She smiled slightly and went over to the beeping machine. I felt my pulse relax and the beeping slowed to a stop. When I looked back over at the door way my father was standing there, dressed in his doctors clothes. His worry lines were especially noticeable today. I tried not to look him in the eye, for fear I might cry. I can only imagine what I put him through. He walked over into the light and his the bags under his eyes were darker than normal. He put the clipboard he had in his hand down in the near by chair and sat on the edge of the bed. He nodded to the nurse who left and shut the door behind her. I was expecting him to yell, scream and shout but he didn't. I knew he would be upset but he didn't take his eyes off me and once I met his icy blue eyes he just hugged me.
It was a hard hug. You know when you leave for vacation to stay with you grandparents for the summer and when you get back home, you parents hug you like they thought that you wouldn't come back home. It was one of those hugs. I hugged him with the same force but held back my tears, I didn't want to upset him anymore than I already have. He pulled back and said,
"Don't you ever do that to me again, I thought I lost you forever," he wiped my single tear off my cheek. "I know your probably sick of being here, so I set up everything at home so you can leave when your mother gets here." I nodded, saying nothing. I can only imagine what I put her through. "You don't have to go back to school until your ready and your therapist will be meeting you tomorrow at our house." He went on to tell me all the details about how the house was set up and how much he missed me, how my mother missed me, how I gave everyone a scare, how worried everyone was. What was I supposed to say? How sorry I am for trying to commit suicide again? I can't help the way I am. My mother arrived and she helped me get dressed. I was still a little off from the coma. I walked out of the room with my mothers arm around my waist for support. I felt bone-tired. Like I'd just ran a marathon.
She opened my door and I got into the car. She said a few words in the car but she knew I wasn't really in the talking mood. I looked out at my window and watch the world go by. The kids playing in the fountain in the park, an old couple sitting on a bench, people skateboarding and laughing, they all looked happy. We continued to pass the park and most people watched because I knew that my coma was probably in the paper and everyone knew my families car. There were a bunch of guys from my school throwing the football shirtless and the completely stopped and watched my car as we stopped at the light. I looked forward for a second and took a deep breath before looking back. I wasn't really friends with them, or anyone at school, but they just stared. We drove down the windy road lined with tons of trees before turning into my neighborhood. I watched as the houses grew bigger and bigger as we neared the back of the neighborhood. We turned and my mom rolled down the window to click a button and the gate opened to let us in.
I'd think that when my father is the most successful inventor of all time, my mom has one of the best fashion businesses, that I'd be happy. I get whatever I want and my parents have more money than the banks have room for, I have six cars and I'm still not happy. The valet guy came and opened my door to let me out.
"Welcome home Alana, you were missed," he bowed his head and I got out of the car. My mom came beside me and helped me up the few stairs. The door attendant opened the door and into the house we went. Everyone greeted me with a simple head bow and smile as I made my way to my room. I sat on my bed and let out a huge breath that I didn't realize I was holding in. I looked around the room and I'd missed it more than I thought, I laid back on my bed and closed my eyes, wishing it would all go away. I know my parents weren't expecting me to go to school Monday but I planned on going. I'm alive so they have nothing to worry about. My parents did everything in their power to make me happy after the first time I tried to commit suicide last year. I was 16 in the tenth grade. I'd been wanting to do it for a while at the time but I didn't know how so I just cut my wrist and my personal housekeeper, Zola, caught me and I got on antidepressants and started to see my therapist.
It felt so good and right before I was about to slip into eternal darkness, Zola walked in.
I didn't know how to feel after my first attempt and I wasn't sure if I wanted to do it again. My therapist helped but the antidepressants just made me feel like I was sugar high all the time so I stopped taking them a seven months ago. But every time I look at my wrist its just a reminder of what I felt that split second before Zola walked in, I felt freedom, I felt happy and I felt at peace and part of me wanted to be mad at Zola but I couldn't be. She practically raised me because my parents were away at work so much all the time. She was like my second mother and I loved Zola. Speaking of the devil. In she walked with a cart with food. She stopped and ran over to hug me, practically sobbing.
"Alana, or my dear Alana," She pulled back and looked at me, "If you ever do that again, I swear you'll have the best of me." She hugged me again and I couldn't help but smile. Zola grabbed her hanky out of her apron pocket and wiped her tears. I sat back down on my bed and she walked over to the cart. "We've got you some homemade chicken noodle soup, the chiefs specialty. " She handed me the bowl and I gobbled it down. She watched me carefully. "Your parents aren't going to want you to go to school on Monday." She said turning back around to the cart to get me a napkin. Zola knew me too well.
"I know but I want to," I took the napkin she offered me. "I need to stay caught up in my school work." I took a sip of the hot tea.
"You need to heal," she took the half empty bowl and handed me a small chicken caesar salad.
"I'm not hurt," I said eating a forkful.
"No, you need to get better Lana, I'm serious," she sat on my bed and looked me in the eyes. "You have to get better, you parents nor I can take another incident like that one. Never again. It hurt us too much." I looked down at my salad and took another bite. I always hated talking about the "incidents", it was just too weird to talk about. After I finished my salad she left the room and I was alone again.
I know no one was expecting me to show up at school on Monday, but I did anyway. My parents weren't happy about it but they gave me whatever I wanted post-suicide-attempt. I drove up in my car and gripped the wheel before opening the door and stepping out . I walked through the parking lot, weaving through cars and stepped on the sidewalk. There were a few kids in front of me and they noticed and started whispering. I knew the whole school would know within ten minutes. I walked in school and took a left towards my locker. Some people stepped out of the way and other stared with shock. I thought I was going to be nervous but I wasn't not one bit, I was more put at ease because I knew everyone would leave me alone for a while. I twisted the knob on my locker and put in my combination.
I started taking some books out of my backpack when the bell rang. I could hear the chatter grow louder as people rushed to get to class within the next five minutes. I felt someone beside me but I didn't have to look to know who it was. My locker is right next to the most popular(annoying) boy in the whole school, Cam. Even though I loath him, he insist on bugging me. All the time. I do know what all the girls see in him.
He's gorgeous but his horrible attitude ruins his looks. He's about 6'2". Cam' wasn't the tall and skinny type, he was built from playing three varsity sports every year since he was a freshman. He's muscly but not too muscly with golden blonde hair and deep blue eyes. He looks like Paul Walker except his hair is a little more blonde. Even though we are complete opposites, he never leaves me alone. I have naturally black hair, he has blond hair, I have electric green eyes, he has blue, I have no friends, and he's popular I like to stay quiet and he always makes a statement. I was prepared for the torture to begin.
"Hey Lana," he said. It was actually nice. Then again he just found out about my two suicide attempts in the paper. I kept putting away my books but he didn't even open his locker, he leaned against it and watched me instead. "How are you?" I stopped and looked up at him. Oh goodness. His face looked tired and full of stress but I didn't ask, I had my own problems.
"I'm alright," I answer and grab a couple of binders. "You?" I looked at him.
He got this far away look. "I've been better goth girl." And there it was, the first insult. I rolled my eyes and shut my locker before walking away from him. Do I ever get a break? "Lana wait," I heard him say but I didn't stop walking. "Lana please, wait," He caught up to me but I didn't care that he was there. I stopped, turned around and said,
"What do you want Cam?" The halls were empty and we were the only two in the hall as the final bell rang.
"I got you something," He put his backpack down and searched in the smallest pocket. He pulled out a ring case. He stood back up and handed it to me. I sighed and opened the case. It was a black rose ring with black and white diamonds all along the sides. I knew he'd spent a lot of money on it, the diamonds were real. He was the type of guy who spent a lot of money on things to give to people who doesn't even want it. I hated that he thought it was okay to buy ravish things for me and think they'd make everything okay. Money, no matter how much you have, will make me happy.
"Cam, I can't take this," I said looking back up but he was gone. I looked both ways and I was alone in the hallway. I looked at the ring one more time before slipping it on my finger. I walked into class four minutes late but my teacher didn't care, my parents probably sent him an email. Class went by quick and besides the fact that no one would look me in the eye, it was pretty good.
I wasn't nearly as excited for my next class, AP Chemistry.
I walked into class and took my seat as everyone else piled in. Victoria walked in. Also known as miss popularity and Cam's on and off girlfriend. She gave me a dirty look before taking her seat with her posse. Cam walked in but I didn't look up, I kept doodling in my notebook. The teacher began and we started taking notes on the next experiment. I went to my station and my lab partner was already there. His name was Philip and for some reason he likes being around me. He actually smiled at me when I came over.
"Hey Lana, ready for the experiment?"
"Ready as I'll ever be," I said putting down my paper. "I'll go get the aprons and goggles," I walked across the room to the closet and grabbed two aprons. The lab closet had bad lighting and a bad smell from all the chemicals but it was nice to feel like I was getting away from the world for a second.
"Do you like the ring?" I jumped at the sound of Cam's voice. I grabbed the goggles and faced him.
"Yes, its beautiful, thank you," I said and he grinned like an idiot but it was covering something up. There was something going on with him.
"Did you read the inscription?" I took the ring off and there was some language inscripted along the entire inside of the ring.
"What language is this?" I asked cluelessly.
"Hindi," He said grabbing supplies. "Hoping it was something you didn't know so you'd have to figure out what it says." I put the ring back on and left the closet. The lab went well until Victoria opened her mouth.
"So how was your fake suicide attempt," she asked me but I ignored her. "Oh I guess faking suicide makes you mute." She said this louder so the whole group could hear. She leaned over my desk, "You're the most fake person I know," I gripped my pencil a little tighter. It was taking everything I had to stop me from jumping over the desk and decking her in the face. "Why don't you go back to whatever rock you crawled from under and never come back." The last three words rang in my head "never come back", like a phone. Continuously ringing in my head. Never come back. I really wanted to pounce on her like I was a panther and she was my prey. "Your such a-"
"Victoria shut up," She turned around so quick only to find out it was Cam. She walked over to him, angry.
"What did you just say to me?" She put her hands on her hips and he stood up.
"I said shut up," he repeated and she went back to her seat and crossed her arms. I hurried to finish my work so I could leave early. I really didn't want to be here when this drama is going on. Victoria was pouting like a little baby when the teacher came back in. I wrote my name on my paper and handed it in. I grabbed my stuff and walked out the door. The teachers didn't really care about when I left the class school is easy and I have good grades, so I do whatever I want. Plus the teachers just too lazy to stop us. The bell rang I went to my locker and snatch my car keys from the top shelf. The words "never come back" rang in my head again. I felt my pace quicken as my heart started to pound. I pushed through the doors and ran to my car. I heard footsteps behind me but I kept looking straight towards my car. I unlocked the doors and got in. I threw my bag in the back and took a deep breath. My anxiety is always worse after. I heard a knock on the window and it was Cam. Does he ever leave me alone? I rolled down the window.
"Are you okay?" He asked and I gripped the steering wheel until my knuckles were white. Breath, just breath. I remember the breathing exercises my therapist taught me. In for a ten count and out for a ten count. I closed my eyes and just breathed.
"I'm fine," replied after a minute of silence.
"What just happened in there?" I looked up at him and for a second it looked like I could tell him anything. It felt like that too, like he knew what I was going through.
"It's just my anxiety," I looked at the car in front of mine, "its always really bad after I..." I just left it hanging because he knew what I was talking about. I gripped the wheel harder feeling my anxiety picking back up. He didn't say anything he just walked around the car and sat in the passengers seat. I didn't even say anything because for that moment I felt like we were on the same level but I felt guilty. I was thinking about it again. I looked at the scars on my wrist. I wanted to go so bad, still do. I pulled down my sleeves to cover the but he caught my arm and pulled the sleeve up.
He looked at the scar and ran his fingers over it, like he was seeing me for the first time. I looked at the scars and the up at him. I hated that look, the look someone always gives you when they realize how serious the situation is.
I pulled my arm away, prepared to answer questions.
"Did it hurt?" he asked. That was a new question no one's ever asked me before. I shook my head but I didn't look at him.
"The first time it happened so quick, I didn't feel anything," I tugged at my sleeve again.
"What about last time?" I could feel his eyes staring holes into me but I resisted the urge to look.
"A little but that was my body's reaction to the medicine."
"What'd you take?"
"Some antidepressants and I accidentally mixed them with two oxycodone."
"Whats that?" He asked.
"A super strong pain killer," I said looking up at him. "My body barely pulled through and went into survival mode, that's how I slipped into a coma." This time he looked away and didn't say anything.
"I have to go, my parents are expecting me to come home for lunch." He looked at me for a second.
"Do you want me to drive you?" He looked at the car in front of mine and I shook my head.
"No, I can drive myself." He opened the door but didn't get out.
"Are you coming back to school?" He asked turning to look at me. I thought about it.
"Yeah," He got out and shut the door.
"Look up the inscription," he said as I backed out and left the school and that weird conversation behind. I didn't go home, my parents weren't expecting me. I took a right at the light and then a left down the dirt road. There was this special spot I always go where I can be alone. I looked at the leaves flying around the car in the gentle breeze. I parked and walked up to the big oak. The best thing I loved about this spot was there was a huge cliff that dropped down into rushing river. I stood by the tree before walking over to the edge.
I was all alone and no one was here to stop me.
Do you know how easy it would be to jump and no one would find me? No one to try and talk me out of it. I lifted my arms and let the air run through my hair and closed my eyes. All I had to do was take one step and it would be over. I wouldn't have to worry about anyone telling me what to do or telling me how I had no friends. Or telling me how ugly I was with black hair. How I was a nerd or how much they hate me. Or telling me how they wish I wasn't born.
I took a step closer to the cliff.
I wouldn't have to worry about disappointing my parents or my teachers. I wouldn't have to be alone everyday that I live. I wouldn't have to walk through the halls and feel like a complete stranger. I could just go and be happy all alone.
I took another step closer.
I could slip into eternal darkness where I am loved and wanted. The wind pushed me a little closer and I could hear the rush of the river. All I had to do was jump. My toes were hanging over the edge. I looked down at my feet and said jump.
But I couldn't jump. Something stopped me. I looked at my hand on my skinny finger and took a step back. I said I was coming back to school. I turned around and walked back to my car. I found myself driving back to school in a haze. I wasn't really sure of myself. I pulled back into my parking space and looked through my purse for my sandwich. Ugh it was in my locker. I could hear the bell ring and I rolled my eyes and walked back into school. I walked to my locker to grab my sandwich and ate it on my way to my next class. Everyone was sitting in their seat and stared at me as I took my seat alone in the back of the classroom. It was only math so I didn't really need to try to get A's, math is like my second language.
The teacher asked us to pair up and work on a review packet for the exam we had coming up. The row in front of me passed back a packet and I didn't even look up to find a partner. I don't normally partner up with anyone in math, theres really no need to. I felt someone sit beside me and I glanced over only to roll my eyes.
"What do you want?" I asked finishing the fifth question.
"She said to pair up, your my partner," Cam said writing his name on his paper without looking up at me.
"But I don't want a partner," I said glaring at him.
"Well too bad because that's exactly what I am," He smirked at me and I rolled my eyes. We worked quietly for ten minutes. "Can you help me with this question?" He asked. It was hard for him. Asking for help, he wasn't used to that and since math wasn't his strongest subject, he needed all the help he could get. I finished my problem and looked at the problem. I automatically scanned the whole paper. He was only on number seven and all of them were wrong. I shook my head slightly and turned my back to him to get an eraser out of my bag. "What are you doing?"
I grabbed his paper and erased all of his work. "Hey!" he said objectively but I finished erasing it all. "I worked hard on those!" he snatched the paper back and wiped off the eraser shavings.
"Do you want my help or not?" It was a simple question and I didn't make him answer. I wrote the formula on the top of his paper. I showed him how to do the first two and made him try the third one. He messed up. He put his pencil down and rested his face in his hands.
"I have no idea how I'm going to pass this exam." I continued my work in silence. I could feel him watching me as I flew through all the problems effortlessly. "Can I copy your answers?" He asked and I shook my head.
"Copying my answers, isn't going to help you learn the correct way to do it, nor will it help you pass the exam." He sighed deeply.
"Are you really going to make me ask?" The bell rang and I gathered my things. I turned my papers in and walked out the classroom with Cam trailing behind me.
"Make you ask what?" I said casually, pushing through the crowd and stopping at my locker. I opened my locker and grabbed my stuff.
"Make me ask you to be my tutor," I could tell that it was hard for him to ask and I laughed. He stopped what he was doing and looked at me. "What?"
"Is it really that painful to ask?" I slammed my locker shut and walked away. I didn't have time to hear him talk. I didn't really care so what was the point? I knew the conversation would just end up being about him anyway. I could hear his footsteps behind me and picked up my pace a little.
"Please! I'm begging you!" I dodged the people in the crowd, hoping I would lose him. I had no idea why he was so persistent. I kept walking and pushed through the doors. The last thing I needed to worry about was tutoring him. "Come on, I'll do anything!" I walked out into the road without even checking and heard some horns blearing. I weaved through the cars until I found mine. "Please Alana!" I stopped and whirled around to look at him. I knew how scary I probably looked. I was pissed and I hadn't taken all the medicine I was supposed to and I was about to explode.
"Believe it or not Cam but my life does not revolve around you and your 'problems'. Your standing here, begging me to tutor you because you need to pass this class so you can stay in sports. And I'm still trying to figure out how I'm going to make it to tomorrow." All the color drained from his face. "I'm trying to stay in school and get good grades for my parents. I'm trying to go to a school where I don't feel wanted everyday of my life." I shook my head in dismay. I slid down my car and sat on the ground. He watched me intently. "I am desperately begging for God to help me out of this dark depression." I looked up at him. "You want to know how bad my life is?" He was frozen, didn't say anything so I kept going. "My dad, the richest man in the world, has spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to get me on the strongest antidepressant, to send me to the 'best' therapist and to make sure I don't fall behind in school. To buy me all the best things in life." I felt a tear fall down my face. "My mother works more than sixteen hours a day most of the time and she refuses to let me walk out in anything less than designer clothes. She has to stop working just to make sure I actually eat and take my meds." I heard cars driving by leaving the parking lot. I stared down at the car tire in front of me. "Not only am I still unhappy but I continue to let them down." I stood up and wiped the tears off my face. I glanced at him.
"Wake up pretty boy, the worlds full of problems. Try to worry about someone else besides yourself." I opened the door and hopped in. He was still standing there when I left
What do ya think? Is Alana right? I think she is…(: What do yiu think of Cam's character? What about Alanas? Let me know(:
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