I attract the crazies

David was following me with his eyes, I could feel it. In the library, I thought I was in a safe haven where only the studious visited, but I'm sure someone alerted him to my hiding place. That or he actually came to study.

Clearing my throat noisily, I shot him a discrete look telling him to back off telepathically. He ignored my tacit message and only delighted in the fact that I looked at him. I rolled my eyes when he took this as a cue to get up and head in my direction. No matter how much I avoided him, he was dogged.

I'm not sure when our whole non-relationship started. A year ago? I refused to date him on the grounds that he smelled like a lawn mower most of the time. When he became informed about hygiene, I said my parents had me on a short leash when it came to dating. When that didn't deter him, I told him I was only trying to focus on studying. I told him that there was no studying around him; he was like a black hole that sucked away my patience and attention. He didn't bat an eyelash at my words, but became more wise about when to pester me.

"What are you doing?" I snorted at his question and refused to acknowledge him. "Aaah, Orgo? I took that." I hid my surprised expression behind my book. It's not that I knew he wasn't smart (he was), it's just that he'd seemed more like a Physics person.

Physics people also take Chemistry, I guess.

"The key to Orgo is -" I tuned the rest of his lecturing out by simply re-reading the same sentence 10 times. I wasn't sure what about him made me want to avoid him. No matter how hard I tried, he kept persisting.

"Resonance is the basic underlying principle and we'd be perfect together, so do you want to go out with me now?" I nodded absentmindedly, thinking he was still lecturing. I'd been dutifully saying "mhmm", "I see", "Got it," in the right moments. When I heard him let out an annoyed sigh and perturbed aargh, I glanced up. His countenance darkened and it was the first time I'd seen him angry.

"What?" I asked bewilderedly. He wasn't known for being mercurial.

"You were ignoring me this whole time," He stated in a steely voice. I didn't know how to react to this different side of David. Normally when I did this, it just rolled off his back. Maybe he hadn't noticed until now, or he'd been holding his feelings back.

"Um." I hesitated from telling this is what I did with all of his one-sided conversations. "I was listening," I lied instead. He was talking about formal charge and hybridization before I totally zoned out. Maybe the last thing he said was something about resonance?

"You were saying something about resonance?" I tried to frame it more as a statement, but it came out as a question and a weakly stabbed guess.

"Bravo, your skills at guessing have gotten better." He gave a slow, mocking clap before getting out of his chair and walking out of the library.

I sputtered in shock. "Well if you'd known I was ignoring you all those times, why keep trying?" I meant to shout it after him, but I ended up asking only myself this question.

Glancing at my phone for the umpteenth time, no new texts received glared at me tauntingly. For the past week, there was no contact between David and I. My friends would say to me, "Radhika of course he finally dumped your ass for a better one," which would then start a discussion on who had the best ass.

I argued that since my ass was the largest out of their puny asses, it was therefore the best. And you can't dump a perfectly fine ass. Why we even have these discussion is beyond me.

Scuffling through my dorm hallway, I was carrying a stack of newly retrieved tomes for my Trimester 2 classes when I ran into someone and toppled backward.

I felt like I was soaring until I hit the ground of reality. Only then did I know I had been tripped.

"Sorry," I muttered angrily, as I clambered along the ground picking up my books. When I decided to unleash my best glare on this terrible tripper, I saw it was David.

"David!" I forgot my books and scrambled up, brushing my hair down in an acceptable appearance. "Where have been this past week? Do you know how many texts, messages, emails, facebook posts -" I trailed off when I realized I sounded slightly stalkerish. I'd even had his roommate deliver a handwritten note.

Perhaps I'd gone a little overboard? David's expression didn't change a bit, and I was getting slightly worried. Had he really found a better ass, as my friends predicted?

"Is everything...ok?" I asked awkwardly, since it had been a while. I wasn't used to asking him the questions. Or caring.

"Yeah. Great," David flashed a tight-lipped smile; cold, and emotionless compared to the blinding grins he would bestow on me every day. I couldn't help the frustrated frown, and my hand reached out to rest on his shoulder.

"Really? Why have you been avoiding me?" I internally winced. Did I just ask this? To David? The one I avoided on a regular basis? Shouldn't I be jumping for joy now that he stopped bothering me?

"I don't know. You tell me." His eyes were fixed on mine in a very intense stare. I gulped in mild apprehension. I slowly took off my hand from his shoulder and played nervously with the hem of my shirt.

"You're mad at me, I know. I'm really sorry. Truly, sincerely, deeply sorry." I clasped my hands under my chin to show my genuine guilt. He only snorted.

"I'm sure," He shouldered past me and I dropped my clasped hands in rejection. I couldn't stand this David any more.

Marching up to him and whirling him around, I flourished my pointed finger at his face. "You!" His shocked face brought me a little comfort.

"Who? Me?" He asked sarcastically. I ignored the sarcasm.

"Look, this past week I've really missed you! So stop being me and just be you or else bad things will happen to you." I gave him a light shove to emphasize my point.


"I don't say these things lightly."

"So will you go out with me?"

"Hell no!" I scrunched my nose in distaste.

"But -"

"Just answer my frigging calls, would you?" I went back to pick up my books with David immediately coming to my assistance. When he walked me to my room, my last words were "Ignore me, and I kill you," before slamming the door in his face. Later that night, I called to ask him what spurred his sudden outrage.

"Lee Jaeyoo said that in her Korean dramas there's this thing called 'Push and Pull'. She suggested I try that on you." I was silent for a while. The phone line crackled and I could hear his soft breaths.

"Push...and Pull?" I asked slowly.

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that. I've decided that I won't use it again," He rushed to say. "Even though it did have an effect on you."

"Ignore me again, I kill you," I threatened again, making sure to press the 'End' button extra hard.

Normal David returned after that. Of course, I had to change myself too in order for him to be satisfied. I listened and replied to him more, hung out with him, and soon enough, pictures were being taken of us and posted on facebook.

"Look, this picture of us has 113 likes." David moved his laptop screen to face me. Indeed, the picture where he'd slung his arm around my shoulders and was smiling at me had every one of our friends liking it and commenting. It was a candid shot, and I had a serene look on my face. We looked truly happy together.

"Ha, Christie and Evans said the same thing. 'You guys should just get married already.' Should we?" David waggled his eyebrows and I pushed his face away.

"I will pray to Durga every night to kill you in your sleep." My threats were holding less intimidation to him. He just chuckled while I became indignant. "I will!"

"I know," He replied simply. It still didn't faze him. "Do you want to do a bet?"

This piqued my interest. I was a sucker for bets. "Ok. Maybe." We were sitting outside on a picnic bench in a small clearing. David closed his laptop and I swung my legs in anticipation.

"I bet you I can climb that wall." My feet stopped. I glanced at the white wall with a giant semi-circle cut at the bottom. It was a wall randomly paced in front of the Environmental science lab and it wasn't connected to anything else. I looked back at David skeptically.

"Please. Don't even try," I snorted. While David was tall and lean, it would take Spiderman to climb that wall.

"What would you bet if I didn't make it?" I considered this for a second.

"Whenever I ask, you buy me gummy worms. Until the end of the school year. Whenever."

"Deal." We shook hands before I realized something.

"What if you win?" I asked.

"It's a secret," David winked and I rolled my eyes. He'd probably ask me out. He wouldn't make it to the top any-

"Oh my gods, David! If you fall I'm gonna-" David had sprinted to the wall and made a soaring jump. He'd used his momentum to fling himself even higher so that he was hanging by only his fingertips on top of the wall.

He rearranged his grip and heaved himself to the top. I gaped at him, perched on the wall.

"What the hell? Do you have spidey powers too?" He just smirked. "How will you get down." His smile wiped away.

"I didn't think of that." He judged the distance from his position to the ground and flung himself down. I closed my eyes in terror and plugged my ears.

"You can stop doing that. No bomb is detonating in this vicinity." I peeked my eyes open to see him standing in front of me.

"Where did you learn to do this? It's so dangero-"

"Please, you sound like my mom," He laughed. "I joined the parkour club. Hardcore parkour. Now, since I won the bet...you have to give me a kiss."

"That was the secret?" I angrily poked his pectorals. "Are you crazy? You did that to get me to-to-to...to" I couldn't say the word.

"Yes. Kiss me." He smirked and impatiently tapped his lips. I huffed a sigh, gathered my courage, leaned in...and kissed his cheek hurriedly.

"There! One kiss, delivered!" I started trotting backwards. "Look at the time!"

"Please, that wasn't a kiss," He advanced on me and I widened my eyes.

"What? Is there only one place to kiss someone?" Before I could properly turn and run away, he'd grabbed my waist and kissed me. On the lips. In front of a couple of juniors who now were probably taking pictures.

"Will you go out with me?" He breathed after we broke apart.

"...hermmgh," I responded. "If you keep kissing me like-like that, hell yes." The smile nearly broke his face in half.

"I knew you'd come around," He said before he dragged me to every person we came across to declare our relationship.

I swear, I only attract the crazies.