So, here's my second post. It's a bittersweet essay about a lost love. I hope you'll like it.


We loved, once.

We loved and lived.

It was a long time ago, though. But I remember. The slight upward curve of your lips; their sweet taste. The twinkle in your eyes; the hope that sparked in them. The happiness they showed. Your strong hand covering mine.

It felt nice to be there, under the warm sun of late August, with nothing but trees and grass all around us. It was just you and me, then. The two of us against the world. Fearing nothing but to be separated.

We swore to love one another for ever.

I remember wishing that the day would never end, and that we would never have to go back. Nothing else mattered; it was heaven. We were in heaven.

I often dream of that day. The rays of sun felt cold compared to the way you looked at me. With passion, with tenderness, with adoration. With love. It was powerful.

It flashes in my mind; the brightness of your smile. A genuine, beautiful, wide smile.

It is the only happy memory of us that comes to me when I think about the past. That day in the fields, in the middle of the forest.

The way our fingers intertwined as if to never let go. Afraid that if they did, they'd never find their way back to each other.

We had found each other. And we loved like no one else had ever loved. Our hearts beating in unison. Our eyes looking in the same direction. It wasn't close to perfection; it was perfection.

And then I left. I didn't have a chance to tell you before I did. But I saw the tears on your face. I could almost taste their bitterness. I wanted to run to you, to hug you, but I couldn't.

It was impossible.

Then we loved, but we did not live anymore. Apart from each other, the world had no longer a meaning. And I couldn't write to you. I couldn't shout my love to you. But still, I loved you.

I heard you blame me for leaving. I heard you curse me for making you fall in love with me. I heard your prayers to ease the pain your heart felt. And still, there was nothing I could do.

You did not know then, that the only thing that crossed my mind before I left was your face. That my last heartbeat was for you. That the last word I pronounced was your name.

They told you to sit, and I could witness the fear on your face from above. Then the angst, the anger, the sadness. Your soul ripped apart. Your heart shattered. Your tears rapidly forming a pool at your feet.

And I was powerless.

I saw you race to my house and fall on your knees as you saw me. What was left of me. I was no longer, but still you swore that you would never love anyone else. That you would always belong to me. That you would love me across time, across death.

And from above I whispered those promises back to you.

I'm holding on to the words we said that wonderful day. That no matter what, we were destined to be together.

We loved, once.

We loved and lived.

But I only realize now that as long as you live, it doesn't matter that I don't. As long as you live, so does our love.

We love. That's what makes us alive.


Forgive the mistakes if there are any.

BloodInTheFields