Remember?

her face is blurring
around the edges
and the yellowish lights are fading
and all I can hear
aside from the ticking
of the clock
is her musical voice
asking me
asking me if I remember
I don't remember much
but the way she tells me
she makes me remember
my wired up hand
held fast and tight in hers
I notice her nails are bitten to their beds
she never used to bite them
but now she's telling me a story
"Remember love, try hard tell me you remember that day"
I try I really do
"Remember we were just 13,
and you asked me to marry you.
Remember?
You smiled at me then whispered it into my hair"
yes...I do remember that
her hair
how it always smelt of lavender
"Remember you said:
'I love you, I want you forever
don't ever leave me
marry me?'
and I was so scared
so terrified at what you were asking me
but you looked so..."
relieved
I was relieved at finally asking
I remember
"I knew by looking in your eyes
that you meant every word"
of course I did
I loved you then
as I love you now
"and then I just nodded and cried,
remember love? Remember how you held me
and thanked me over and over?
Do you remember sweetheart?"
yes
at least I think so
and then she's crying again
I always make her cry
I remember now
how she cried when I asked her for real
when we were 25
she was so beautiful that day
even when she cried
but I always make her cry
I swear it's
even darker now
she's whispering something
into our clasped hands
but I don't know what she's saying
maybe she's praying
she looks up
"Remember the last time you were here?"
I do remember that
"I'll tell you now that I was so
scared that day
not that I would have let you know"

I knew my love
"I had to be strong,
for you
didn't I?
Do you remember how..."

how I made you cry that day again
yes I do
"it seems so long ago"
I feels like yesterday
and then she smiles
a sad
sad smile
"Remember Rosie? Wasn't she so beautiful"
our baby
"but she was so tiny..."
and she's crying again
silent tears
"I'm glad we met her though, aren't you?
Do you remember her?"

yes
yes I remember our baby
...she didn't cry
"I don't regret anything though"
that's good
I couldn't leave her with regrets
I regret things
so so many things
if I could go back
I'd make it
so she never met me
then she would have had
the amazing life
she deserved
like I never made her cry
because I always do
her face is pressed at our hands
and she's mumbling again
but I'm tired
so tired
she's asking me something again
asking if I remember
but I can't hear her anymore
and I know
even if she doesn't
that as the room
grows ever darker
that prayers
won't help me
anymore
no
and as
I fall
deep into
darkness
she's crying
and asking me
"Do you Remember...?"