Once upon a time, a man woke up. It was Monday.
The next day, the man woke up and it was Tuesday.
The next day, he woke up, and it was Tuesday again. At first he was frightened, and then he realized he just forgot to change his calendar.
The next day, the man woke up and it was Thursday.
The next day, the man woke up and it was Friday.
Now, Friday was a very significant day, because on that day the man went to the store to buy some milk and ice cream, because all week he had been craving milk and ice cream. So, he went to the store, bought the milk and ice cream, and came back. At home, the man decided to use his milk and ice cream to make milkshakes, and he developed 55 new milkshake flavors.
Feeling very proud of himself, the man bought a store downtown and opened up a milkshake shop, in which he sold his 55 new milkshake flavors.
Five years later, the milkshake man began to feel very lonely. He decided he would make a friend. Suddenly, a little five year old girl came into his shop and ordered an extra-large double chocolaty chip banana muffin whip cream non-alcoholic strawberry dynamite swirl milkshake. The milkshake man knew it was destiny. Oh, no, the girl wasn't named Destiny; he just thought they would be friends because that was his favorite flavor. As he made the girl not named Destiny the shake, he talked to her.
The milkshake man found out that her real name was Trisha. Trisha also had a sister who was the same age as him named Patricia. The milkshake man met Patricia. Although she was very pretty and they liked the same things, she was very mean. The milkshake man was torn: should he hang out with the younger, nicer sister or the older, meaner sister?
Finally, he decided: he would hang out with neither, and become good friends with the parents and never talk to the sisters again. However, this proved to be a difficult task, considering the fact that he came over to dinner nearly every day and he had to say something to them or else it would get really awkward.
The milkshake man left the family and became friends with a family of hot dogs.
One day, while at the pool with said hot dog family, a wasp landed in the pool. Oscar, the eldest hot dog, became quite scared because he was scared of wasps. So, the milkshake man came to Oscar's aid. He began to splash a ton of water on the wasp until finally it died. The hot dog family was saved, and Oscar and the milkshake man became good friends.
Now, with his newfound friendship, the milkshake man could happily say that Oscar was the best and tastiest friend that he had ever had.
And that, my dear friend, is why armadillos live inside shiny metal toasters.