My Ninth Near-Death Experience

I'm on my ninth near-death experience. It's not a matter of pure dumb luck, or even a singularly suicidal streak. I'm not an adrenaline junkee by any chance – though I will admit that one or two of my nine near-death experiences were the pre-considered consequences of anticipated actions – nor do I have a unique need to watch my life flash before my eyes. Watching yourself almost die nine times is not nearly as entertaining as reality TV would lead you to believe. I have never gone out of my way to chase down my near-death experiences, nor have I gone particularly out of the my way to avoid them. I am simply an observer nine times over of a strange human phenomenon. I have tested the limits of a theory old as man itself, and found it to be true: every man is immortal until proven otherwise, and by then it is much too late.