A/N: Share your thoughts.
There was a boy who loved a little girl, who thought she was the best girl in the world. He had met her when they were little, and his six year old little heart knew she was the one. He had met her with the shining sun when she moved in next door, and being only four, they instantly became friends. He wanted to play with her almost every day.
He would always kiss her on the cheek and watch as she would squint her tiny, bubbly nose in silly disgust of the thought of cooties. But he was smart and didn't believe cooties could keep him away from a girl like her. He was so sure, that his mind revolved that he had evolved quicker than the other little boys with a girl like her.
He would take her hand where she'd stand, and his little boy voice would make a noise like no one else-
"I love you, girl. I swear it's true! If I must, I'd die for you!" he'd say. And she'd always respond-
"I like you, Billy. But don't be silly!" And they'd laugh and laugh, both being so daft, for thinking thoughts so silly. But the boy never forgot to tell her, just to hear that laugh of hers.
They grew up together and played under any weather, with wonder and delight of what might the objects held they discovered together. But the little boy knew, from her eyes so blue, that he loved her so, and he wished she loved him too. She was the peanut butter to his jelly, the straw to his berry. She was the one, the girl he wanted to marry. Or so his little boy heart thought.
As they got older, the not so little girl wanted to play with little girls her age, and the boy accepted to give her the space she had so craved. His not so little heart braved through as the visits became less frequent, and before he knew it, high school was just around the corner for him.
So he thought he'd give it one more go, to tell her he still loved her so, and if her feelings were not the same, he'd tell her it was just a game. He'd go off to high school and leave her in the dust if he must amongst her middle school friends.
He decided to go over, his head reeling, prepared to tell her how he was feeling. He knocked on the door, standing his ground, when he heard a sound approaching. It was his beloved not so little girl striding to him with that same merriment he so treasured in her eyes. He took her hand where she'd stand, but no longer squeaked at the touch so much, and he'd say-
"I love you, Kate. You belong with I. I am yours. For you, I'd die." But the girl just laughed, and he joined in too.
"Sorry," she'd say, "But I only like you!" He nodded, smiled, and hugged her still, even if his heart was breaking and aching, he was at her will. They talked for a bit, and she left, just like any other time. She was no longer the girl who was four when she closed the door in his face later.
He took off to the cool school, thinking he could meet another girl with blue eyes, but they all wore a disguise, so utterly fake and shameful. But not his not so little girl. He still saw her and her eyes were as real and reeling as the feelings he was feeling, but he swallowed his heart and hissed his good-bye to his own reflection as a personal reminder to forget her and their times together.
He plastered a smile on his face with much harm and stuck a new girl under his arm, dragging her fake blue eyed face around as if she were a trophy his not so little girl would see so she'd erupt in jealousy. Yet, envy was not in her blood, as she found a boy of her own. He was harmed and felt remorse for the acts he endorsed to his fake doll under his arm. He dismissed her and thought of how he missed her, the sweet not so little girl of his.
The boy she had, on the other hand, was so grand that she took him to high school. And the little boy had to watch his girl, new to school, claim her love for this other boy, as they passed him. She was always busy and stopped visiting, and he was completely crushed. He refused to show it, but everyone else but her seemed to know it. Oh, how he loved that little girl.
A year passed, and they failed to talk with one another. Didn't they mean something to each other once? He knew then he truly loved her, because he stayed away, even if it was killing him, just to make her happy.
One day, a knock on his door came, and he was in surprise to see the blue eyes of his girl on the other side. No boy was beside her, and her eyes were red in dread as she cried that she lost the love of her life. He knew the feeling, he thought, but he forgot how he chased her and embraced her in her time of need. She hugged him with greed, and he thought it was as good as time as any other to tell her he loved her, because it was his last year at the cool school. So he'd take her hand as she'd stand, with no noise in his voice, and he'd say-
"He didn't love you the way I do. Honey, I'd still die for you." The big girl smiled, just for a while, thinking it was just a memory he was recalling. She hugged him and kissed him on the cheek, and the kiss lingered on longer for him as he smiled at his beautiful girl. Yet, his heart broke, knowing this girl still hadn't awoke, of his true feelings for her.
He comforted her that time once, but she didn't return to him again. He went to a college nearby, never wanting to leave his beautiful girl thinking one day she'll be by his side. They stopped talking, and he thought maybe it was finally time to end his own misery.
He couldn't let her go, though.
He couldn't make it so.
He had loved her all this time.
Would it all go to waste?
So with much haste, after some time, he walked over to her house and was about to knock when he noticed several boxes on the lawn. It began to dawn on him that it was her time to leave for college, and it was nowhere close as it seemed. Tears clouded his eyes as he realized that he stayed there for nothing when she was planning to leave him all along. His hand fell to his side as he knew that this ride had come to a stop.
He had waited for this beautiful girl to awake and take off the fake smile he put on for her each and every day so he could replace it with a real one without dismay. He stood there with tears, with his worst fears, realizing that day would never come.
The door opened to this woman now he failed to recognize. She had grown taller and leaner, and perhaps a bit meaner as her look was no longer inviting. He stood there deciding if it was still worth a shot trying, so he took her hand, where she'd stand, and his small voice made little noise as he'd say-
"How could you leave me when I stayed here for you? I thought you would realize you'd love me too. Consider all the things we've been through. Baby, I'd still die for you." With tears escaping his eyes, she said what she said when she could say no other-
"I'm sorry to say. But please... just don't bother." She shut the door hard, breaking him to pieces. He cursed her for all the stupid teases that had his heart caught, then cursed himself for thinking such a thought.
When she left, he was sure he'd never see the likes of her again. He resorted to the comfort of a full bottle, hoping it'll drain the pain away. Then came the day where the bottle never left his sight. As he sipped the contents out one night, his life flashed before his eyes of the new disguise he had put on and wondered if his own demise was the wise decision.
He talked himself out of it.
Yet, his life spiraled out of his grasp once he dropped out of college and left home. He sold his car and hung around bars, mostly drunk and prying on young women. He hoped the booze would help him lose the memory of his girl.
Yet, he met one girl that brought back his world when she twirled her hair and batted her eyes at him- they were a piercing blue like his girl.
He stumbled out of the bar in the rain with the pain and the shame of what he became because of some girl that became his world whose name he failed to forget. He stumbled through the dark in his heart and in his body to stumble across a whole different world in an alley. That was where the childish thoughts stopped.
He entered that alley and was beaten to a near bloody pulp by a ferocious gang of street bangers. However, as he lay there near his death, he tried to rise again with all his might. The gang looked behind them to find this man still standing up to them, looked at each other, and realized that this man had been through a lot to remain so strong. They decided he had more value to him.
He was pushed into a whole different life. He found comfort in spending nights with women who were strangers and breathing in the beautiful drugs he had come across that took him to the world where he was with his girl. He did drug trades and beat up innocent people like the rest of his gang. Traitors were not allowed.
A few years passed, and he had acquired the taste for exploring other women and other drugs and sources of alcohol. He acquired a taste for blood shed when it was needed. He acquired the taste of the adrenaline rush he received every time he went out with the gang for any reason. Yet, he kept his little secrets; he had her name tattooed on the area above his heart on his chest.
The gang had lately picked up the desirable habit of scouring the area for women to harass. Two women joined the underworld in this time, and he had been with both of them. Wenches, he deduced them all to be. No spirit, just the drive to do wrong. He rubbed his tattoo, thinking back but refused to allow himself to slip back into the real world.
He decided to go out to an alleyway commonly used by many as a shortcut to a main street. Cabs were unlikely to hail at the time, so most people would walk through there to get to a safe spot. People had to withstand the dark to reach the light, but in the dark lurked the gang, prying on women again.
He heard the click of heels in the damp darkness, and one of the members of his gang whistled a cat call. He saw the dark silhouette of a woman in a dress. She was going home from a party, or so it seemed. Two of the members leaped out and grabbed her.
He could hear her screams, shouting for help. When none came, she resorted to begging. The men laughed, and he joined in too, stepping closer to the woman. His heart stopped when he saw her face.
I love you still, I know I do...
It was his girl, this woman she has grown into after all these years. His eyes began to brim with the tears that he had long kept in to not drown in the fears. Her face was terrified, but he knew the look of recognition that sparkled in her eyes. Her gown was beautiful and sophisticated. He noticed the small baby bump protruding out of her stomach. He couldn't help but smile to imagine and pretend that it was him whom had been happy with her all this time, marry her, and start a family with her. Her cry brought him back that it was not.
He loved her all this time, he knew he did. Only staring at her beautiful blue eyes could send him in a frenzy. His ideals melted at her pleading stare. Before he knew it, he punched the man holding her. The other released her, and she quickly took off, not looking once behind her.
The gang was no longer after her anyways.
He took the beating, not needing a single quick breath in between. One of his eyes resulted with a swollen bruise. He was unable to ever open it again. His bones were crushed and mushed deeper within him, and he took it, knowing she got away and would be happy.
The gang walked away, finished for the day with the scouring. He didn't need to get up anymore. He smiled to himself one last time.
Let me show you I'd die for you.
So he looked where she stood,
knowing he'd done good.
With no noise and no voice,
he really had no choice.
After all this time, he was sure
that he could really die for her,
so he closed his last lid...
with his last 'I love you' he really did.
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