AN: Well this about sums it up...

I did it again, didn't I?
And you're mad.
You don't believe in
This world of pretty words.
You ask what I've done and I reply
With my words locked up
Because you don't understand.
So I lie. Subtly. Softly.
You know why.
You look at me like:
You could be so much more.
I wish you took after…
But really, it's you that has me
I'm stuck with my words inside my head,
Tingling in my fingertips
Because of you.
Because you make me hollow,
Feel like nothing, empty.
I'm no person of great endeavour,
Or even mild pursuits.
I don't look towards the future,
I don't care about anything
But this place you put me in.
Your anger has me wrapped in chains,
Put upon this stool,
Forced to purge my mind in
Fantastical marches of my
Hands across the keyboard.

And when you look past me,
Disappointed as I
Hold a perfect phrase in front of
Your eyes,
I think: This is why.
Why I can never stop.
To me your name is
Ice to my frozen lips,
If I speak it I'll be
Shattered across the floor. Crying for help.
Save me!
If you gave me a word of encouragement…
But your words aren't your sword,
Nor my armour.
More like a well, holding
The last liquid water in my
Winter mind.

Your tongue lashes are as
Viscous as my wildest
Nightmare land.
Your eyes look always for distant
Errors in my judgement.
And when I'm happy, in
That place I call home,
You drag me out with those looks.
You're at your wits end.
At my fingertips, ready to break
As I smash them to the keys.
I'm at my peak when you're at your worst.
Happy spews across my page as
I fight tears,
Tearing out the clear white
Of winter snow
From the scene of my mind.

"Get out today."
"Don't be home late."
"Do something else."
"Stop wasting your time."
"You will be at the party."
"Leave it alone"
"Stop wasting my time."
Stop wasting my time.
I'm always out, running after your
Stupid pursuits.
Pretending I care what you want,
Whilst refreshing my eyes with
The beauty of the world.
Reinvigorating my views and thinking of
Wild deeds and daring.
I'm never home late, I'm always home.
It's where my heart is and I
Keep that with me.
I don't trust you to keep it safe,
You'd lock it away where I could never find it.
Do something else?
Follow your example?
No, no, no.
Shut up, you don't know
You're talking about.
I cannot just leave it alone.

It's you that has me