Splurge on: APUSH

Alright, so junior year has started which means my hell in APUSH has begun. I don't know what on earth possessed me to take that class. Actually, I do know. It was because of my over-achieving parents, who think that I am capable of easily getting an A in any class. False. APUSH makes me want to cry.

I mean, while I'm actually in the class, it's great. The teacher is hilarious and nice and adorable and he actually makes the subject matter incredibly interesting. But it's once I get home that I fall into the Pit of Despair and start questioning my sanity. Who would voluntarily put themselves through this torture?

Right now, for example. I should be working on a DBQ which is due tomorrow. Instead, I'm writing this. Fictionpress is really bad for me. And since school has started, I have been going to bed at 3 in the morning. Actually, no. Last Wednesday, I went to bed at 2:45 AM. It was exciting. But then I made up for that (obviously having over three hours of sleep is completely unacceptable) by going to bed at 3:45 the following day (night? morning?).

And now that I have bored you with my sleeping schedule, here is a collection of quotes from my wonderful APUSH teacher that I got from my friend's Facebook.

"Now, awkward transition from bachelor pads to God."
"Bold it, circle it, highlight it, tattoo it on the back of your forehead...that doesn't make sense, but tattoo it!"
"They're (1 Direction) 4 sexy boys… that sounds weird for me to say. There are 5, actually. Forget what I just said."
"OH SHOOT! IT BLINKED! The English flag just blinked at you."
"You're all descended from criminals... oh wait, that could be me too."
"World History are IDIOTS! Except for the 3 classes I teach."
"You've been to Las Vegas but not Jamestown. What is this world coming to?"
"If he (his future baby) is a baby woman, he will be named Oogly. Not Ugly, Oogly."

"*baby voice* I'm a little baby. I'm so cute. *deep voice* NO! I'm going to heaven or HELL!"

"They castrated them, then peeled their skin off, then forced them to eat their own skin while people laughed. Enjoy your brunch after this."

"When your toilet overflows, it's water. When states overflow, it's New Hampshire."

"Now, women go to Alaska just to walk around, and they're married in a year. Plus, there are so many...benefits...to Alaska. ANYWAY!"

"Nathanial Bacon. Not the food...bacon...hmm, bacon."

"You're all going to HELL! And people are like, 'Yes! Tell me more! It's cold here! Tell me how I will suffer!'"

"I see an 'I' and start crying. Tears on the paper...and an F...with those tears..."

Yeah, he's pretty cute. Even though he's the devil when it comes to grading essays.

Also, props to my friend for actually writing down these quotes instead of frantically taking notes like everyone else.

Author's Note:

So, I realized the futility of having an author's note, since these are like giant authors' notes themselves. Ah, whatever. So, as always, suggestions for future splurges are always welcome. Please. Motivate me. Someone.