I am faltering. I can't sleep when I want to. I sleep when I shouldn't. I want a job. I'm confused. I want to be better. I am scared to think of myself as worthless, but the idea keeps lurching into my brain-space, hunched and covered in sores. My higher self grapples it, when I meditate. It shines and whispers against its dirty ear, "I love you." Puss oozing from its wounds, it cries and sobs. Healing. I'm tired, I'm learning. I am not hungry. I need to get away, but its been raining. I'm lazy. I'm tired. I've been drinking a lot. I can start fires but I can't seem to put them out. My life is not worth the lives of others. I do not feel properly until a cold wind bites my face. I am out of balance.

Out of...