I broke the kiss and pulled back "Nate, I do love you,-" "but, what?" he gave a quizzical look knowing he wasn't going to like what I said. "but, I just can't keep doing this. I'm exhausted with all this he said she said bullshit. I'm emotionally exhausted. I can't—I don't—I'm just so tired." He didn't say anything, he just pulled me closer, his hands on my sides and rested his forehead on mine and let out a long sigh. "I don't know what that means." "See? We just communicated, it's not that hard." I joked, with a small smile, "it just means that maybe me going away for a while could be better for both of us."
He frowned "No." "look Nate, I don't want to leave this time. But the only reason I have for staying is you." His frown deepened "but" I said quickly knowing I only had a few seconds to get it out before he started rambling "but me and you have always had our difficulties, and even though I would like to believe that if I stayed we could start over and figure them out, I know that in reality we will probably still yell and scream and fight just like we always have and then in a few weeks you're going to be packing up and leaving again to a place that scares the hell out of me. A place that killed our best friend. And what am I going to do when you're gone? I'm not that girl that just sits at home waiting for her boyfriend to come home from saving the world. I need to do this for me, just like you did the military for you and I'm asking you to have the same respect for me that I had for you. Not as a boyfriend, but as a best friend."
He was quiet for a few seconds. I knew it was harsh, but it was honest. I wasn't willing to throw my future away for a boy just yet, I still had so much time. Time that I could use to do what I want to do and then when the time is right maybe Nate will wait for me, and if he doesn't it'll break my heart but I'll survive because for the rest of us life goes on. Sam taught me that.
Nate smile slightly "you know that you had a big tantrum the day we told you we were enlisting? So when you talk about the same respect?" "If you really want to have a tantrum in the middle of the airport be my guest, I'm sure TSA will have a lot of fun reporting that to your superiors." He smirked and I giggled knowing I had won. "Well I don't want to let you go, but I will." He said quietly. I smiled knowing that he understood. "…because you love me?" I asked smirking wickedly, "shut up" and with that he pulled me to him and I kissed him like I meant it. Then all of a sudden I heard a big "mmhmm" followed by a few fake coughs. We pulled back and I followed Nate's eyes to the person who interrupted us. I turned and saw a small nun standing in line at starbucks, which we were currently blocking.
"Oh so sorry sister" I said staring at my feet and jumping out of line. Nate mumbled an apology and we stepped away to my gate. "look Nate, I do love you, but I'm just not ready for this and quite honestly I don't think you're ready either. We are so young, and we have so much time to do what we want there is no need to rush." "you're right, I guess." He said absentmindedly scratching the back of his neck. I could tell he was holding something back. His eyes were distant and he had stepped back.
"You know, you can tell me anything right?" I said taking a step forward and grabbing his arm. I wanted him to be able to be honest with me. "I just—I'm—I just wonder if I really do have time sometimes." "What do you mean?" I asked confused. "I'm afraid that I don't have time Mal, time. Dying is the easiest thing to do over there. I mean Sam—I just don't want to leave anything unanswered." I finally understood. He was afraid of dying. Who isn't? Especially over there. "Nate, there is nothing left unanswered, my answer is that I love you and I want you to wait for me 'til I'm ready and then you can have all of me. I want to know that you're going to be there for me to, when you're ready. Because whether it takes us 6 months or 6 years to be ready you are going to be there, okay? That's not a request, that's an order. You will be there when we are eighty years old with wrinkly skin and dentures and that's that." I said looking him square in his eyes. He looked down then back at me "yes ma'am."
A/N: I know this is a super short one so please forgive me! My life is craziness right now and my parents are in town... PRAY FOR ME! lol