I never said anything about doing spinoffs...

For those of you who haven't read any of the J/T one-shots, that's okay, you don't have to, to understand what's going on in this story. Tammy is a character from one of the one-shots, "BabySitting."

Finally Understanding

I don't quite remember when I first met Tommy. My mom says it's when I was five, and he'd come over to babysit me with his friend, Jason. All I remember was that when he had, I'd asked him to be my boyfriend. No girl ever forgets something like that. He said no, of course. I mean, he eleven years older then me. He told me he couldn't be my boyfriend, and when I asked why, he told me I'd understand when I'm older. Then, I embarrassed myself further by asking if we'd ever be able to get married.

And he told me that by then, he might be sick of "a certain someone,", and it could be possible, basically. That's what I got anyway.

He still hung out with me after that, came over to my house to play, let me come over to his. And as I got older, and the years went by, he would take me out shopping for any clothes I might want, and go to the movies. As I got older, I was afraid he might get in trouble with his parents, or my parents, but nobody seemed to care. Why? I wondered. Weren't they worried he might try something with me? I mean, I wasn't a model or anything, but I was good looking, and he was a man.

I stayed in love with him, of course, since he was always around, and always so nice to me. The older I got, the more I thought maybe I really did have a chance with him, and that maybe he was waiting for me to hit eighteen. I often thought back on the day he told me we couldn't go out, and I was convinced now that it was because of the age difference. I hadn't known it at the time, but he would have been thrown in jail if he'd actually said yes.

But what about this, "Certain someone?" I just figured later that it meant he had a girlfriend at the time, but I never saw any girl with him as the years went by. The only one I did constantly see with him was Jason, his childhood friend. As far as I could tell, they were attached at the hip. But no girlfriend. I'd heard him speak of a Katy and Abby, but never heard anything like love when he spoke of them.

So I thought I really did have a chance with him, just maybe.

The day I finally understood why Tommy and I couldn't really be together, I was at the park, goofing around with my two best friends and their boyfriends. And Jackson, another boy from my school. He had a huge crush on me, and was actually really sweet, but I was still waiting for Tommy.

I was fourteen, so nine years had passed since me and Tommy first met. Only four more, and we could finally be together.

The thought made me smile.

At some point, they all ended up in the grass, goofing off and kissing, and other couple stuff. Jackson had rolled his eyes and said he had to go to the bathroom. I decided to head for the playground. I sat by a tree, far enough away from my friends that they wouldn't be able to see me. I was leaning on the tree when all of a sudden I heard a familiar voice on the swings.

"Hang on tightly Princess, don't want you falling off."

Jason? He must have gotten here while I wasn't paying attention. And apparently he had a girl with him. I started to peek around the tree, but then I stopped when I heard another voice, one that made me stop and sit right back down.

"You highly over-estimate your strength."

Tommy? Tommy was Princess? What a weird nickname to give your best friend. I wanted to get up and go say hi to him, but something told me to stay hidden. I peeked around the tree, my eyes settling on two figures over by the swing set. Tommy, who had only gotten better looking with age, was sitting on a swing, and Jason was in front of him, pushing him by his feet. Jason had always been good-looking, and I took a moment now to compare him to the way he'd looked when we first met.

His hair was shorter, cut at the ears, and even though he hadn't grown taller by much, he'd still gotten bigger when it came to his body. Anytime my girlfriends saw him, they swooned and panted, and kind of embarrassed themselves. Of course, I'd always been paying attention to Tommy.

Tommy was taller now, only a few inches shorter than Jason, his hair was darker than it used to be, something that had happened with age. It was still brown, but it had little tints of black thrown in, kind of like dog fur. Also, somewhere along the years, he'd started to wear glasses, because his eyesight had randomly gotten worse. I thought they were cute.

Tommy's hands were wrapped around the swing, and the ring on his finger suddenly glinted in the sun. He'd had the ring for as far back as I car remember, but today was the first day I realized it was on his ring finger. Why would he have it there? That's when I noticed that Jason had one too.

What the-?

There was no way...was there?

I thought back, to every time I'd ever been with Tommy. Often times, Jason had never been far behind, and the rare times he wasn't, he usually was by the end of the day. But they were just really good friends was all, I was sure. I'd heard then been friends since birth, so of course you'd be close to somebody you'd known all your life.

But that didn't explain the wedding rings.

Or that Tommy rode on the back of Jason's motorcycle, which I'd explained away as Tommy not having the money to get his own car or something.

My speculation had to stop when Tommy spoke, and I listened intently, suddenly hearing everything they said in a whole different light.

"Shouldn't we head home soon?"

They lived together?


"Work." Tommy said it with a, "Duh," tone, that made me smile. He always had been a little bit blunt, but I thought it was part of his charm.

"I have today off. And you don't work till tomorrow."

Well, Jason could have any day off that he liked. He was the owner of his motorcycle shop. Tommy, believe or not, had actually become a highschool music teacher, where he taught kids to play the guitar, something he'd started to love more as the years went on. Once I got to highschool, I was definitely taking that class.

I peeked around the tree, and saw that Jason had stopped pushing Tommy, and was now sitting on the swing next to him. He looked around left and right, checking to see if anyone was there, so I quickly ducked behind my tree again, until he leaned over to whisper something to Tommy. I watched in shock as Tommy suddenly blushed brightly, and gave Jason a hard shove, sending the bigger man and his swing away from him.

"You're a pervert, you know that? This is a public park!"

Oh my Gawd. Had Jason just said what I thought he said? I was pretty sure he had, since he was laughing loudly, and Tommy was scowling with a growing blush.

"Oh come on. It wouldn't be the first time!" Jason laughed, and my mouth dropped open. Jeezus, this was starting to get more and more R rated. Did this mean...? Was Tommy really...? With Jason...? My heart felt like it was breaking, big time, but at the same, I had this odd feeling, like happiness.

"Shut up!" Tommy hissed in a whisper, but Jason only laughed harder.

"Oh come on, you know you like it." he said, and a second later, he was out of his swing. Before I could blink, he had tackled Tommy, and they were on the ground. For a mere moment, I thought he was seriously gonna do...it...right there, but then Tommy started laughing hysterically, and I realized he was tickling him.

"Jason, stop it...or I'll kill...you!" Tommy was gasping between laughs, but obviously Jason wasn't taking the death threat seriously, because he only started tickling him harder. Tommy tried getting away, but Jason always had been a lot bigger than him, and now, he was basically sitting on Tommy, who had lost his glasses, which were sitting three feet away from my tree.

I watched them, finally understanding why Tommy had said we couldn't be together. It wasn't the age difference, or that he'd had a girlfriend, or anything else. He just had somebody else, who'd he loved a lot longer than me. A boy.

He was gay.

There was no way around it.

I sighed. This explained a lot. Like how nobody cared when he took me out. And how he rode on Jason's motorcycle. And the ring. I peeked one more time, then blushed as I saw that Jason had stopped tickling Tommy, and was now in the act of kissing him. I wanted to look away, but I couldn't, it was like nothing I'd ever seen before.

Tommy was smiling.

And even though I had wasted years on him, if he was happy, I was happy.

I got up, then got a wicked idea. I snuck over to his glasses, and picked them up. Then I went over and tapped Jason on the shoulder. They both looked up, with terrified expressions, sure they'd been caught by some stranger. But then they saw me, and Tommy's expression changed from horror, to something like embarrassment, and guilt.

Jason was smiling.

"Tammy!" Tommy gasped, and I smiled and held out his glasses.

"You dropped these." I said, then I handed them to Jason, who said, "Thanks, kid."

Then I turned and ran back towards my friends, who were still making out in the grass. I sighed and went over to a bench, waiting for them, and suddenly trying to stop the flow of tears I could feel building in me. Sure I was happy for him, but it still didn't make it hurt less.

"Tammy?" I heard, and when I looked up, I wasn't surprised to see Jackson, who took a seat next to me. He looked at me, worried.

"Why are you crying?"

I laughed. "Oh nothing. Just...heartbroken."

"So you figured out that Tommy was gay?"

I gaped at him, shocked, then hit his shoulder gently.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked. I knew I should be mad, but what was the point. He'd only done it so I wouldn't get hurt.

We sat in the silence for a second, and then I felt his hand around mine, squeezing gently. I hugged him tightly, crying into his shoulder.

Ben- Lying whore.

Me- Stupid Bastard.

Max- *sigh*

Polly- *sleeping*

Me- I never said anything about doing spinoffs.

Max- It's true.

Ben- Shut up.

Me- Oh, Max, Belle says stop cheating at cards.

Max- It's not me Belle. She tells me to do it.

Me- Nuh uh!

Max- Yes huh.

Ben- This is going to go on a while.

Polly- *sleeping*