Once upon a time there was a little boy named Betito Gaeta. He was born to poor, but well meaning parents by the names of Ramon and Coco. He would always get in to trouble. Not that he would seek it mind you. Trouble would always follow him around. With all the trouble, it's a miracle that he even made it to adulthood. As an adult, he would tell of the farfetched circumstances of his childhood. Many of these stories seem way too outlandish to be accurate, but he would always swear that they were one hundred and ten percent true. He has told me these stories and now, I, The Mad Matador, will tell them to you. These stories may brighten up your day out of the sheer innocence of them. Now without further ado, The Completely True Adventures of Betito Gaeta.