when i got the phone call,
i blurred the lines of the present
and ripped out the shards in my heart.
hoping? that it would rupture
something so fucking important,
that i could just tell you once,
that we werent simple. that you were
not there for the moment and i never,
meant to wish you gone.

john green had it right.
when the movie began fast forwarding,
with my screen at the ready,
i should have known.