The morning dawn bleeds

And I am still here

Deceased

Bleeding

The monsters still haven't left

The agony still has me screaming

When will the pain stop for me?

Azurite blue

Saliva and my beating of my fists

All over you

And yanking my tongue

Making a hole inside

Round as your eyes

As they stare at me forever across

The night

The pink rumbled slug

Cannot speak of the stab

That it has caused

To my mentality

My heart as black and blue it may be

Cannot talk of the suffering

I have felt for years

Gray sleek slimy stinking ruins

Deep in my veins

My organs

Have rotted away

God saw what happened

And he shut His great magnificent eyes

And said enough is enough

This bitch

Has to die

Mold me an angel out of fur and clay

Something blue, something trained

To appeal my senses

To make me okay

Kiss of the nose

Flight of the feathers

The angel has went

To make me feel better

The fetus inside me has blackened

Coal rotted disgusting dirt

it had no eyes and brain

I said goodbye to it

Pushed it out of my soul

I felt like Cain

Slaughtering my sister

Who wished to be me

Who wished to be happy

Who wished to be free

But I sliced her with teeth

I sliced her with disdain

Angel picked it up with white gloved hands

Soft white green eyed smiling benevolent creation of God

Who told me

I know your pain

I will make it all go away

Feel his heart jump at his flesh with the touch of his fingers

Feel his love warming and smothering and singing and laughing and dancing

I was in his arms

He smiled

He sang in perfect concerto, the voice of sweet bells ringing in the spring time

Wind softly tickling them, laughing as they chimed

I can hear the children running

Tagging, soft pink hands touching their backs worn with thick threads and laces

He said I was one of them

Their pink ruddied faces

Belonged to me

And their words and how their shiny black eyes look to see

Of the bloodied scarred mess that lies on the hard cemented floor

Abortion afterbirth

I killed their sister

Their mouths open like little black holes

Sucking me in

Eating me until they're full

And I am empty

Wrinkled

Shriveled

Old

Decayed

Thoughtless

My mind withers away

Sing my angel sing

Let my ears lull me to dreams

Let my heart no longer drain

Of the wretchedness that bitch clawed away

The morning cracks

God prepares his morning breakfast on the clouds as bowls

The sun is his egg

He puts it next to the clouds, slams it a few times

Bleeding morning dawn awakens

Sizzling can be heard to all the patients

Breakfast will be served

To my angel who saved me

Because he left

Without a word

Except a kiss on the forehead

With so much love and concern

My heart is black, but it is also red

It's still healing

Like a starfish torn from its extra limb

It will grow back with pink little fingers

And black bruised eyes

It will come back

Begging that I give it more

From its umbilical cord